What are you hiding when you cover your mouth?

I went through a phase when I was younger where I covered my mouth when I smiled or laughed. I felt self-conscious about my big, crooked teeth and overbite.

Somehow I became aware of this behavior and retrained myself to stop hiding my mouth. It's part of me, right? Let it all hang out.

I see this face-covering and -touching behavior more often when people are sitting than standing, during interviews or discussions where the setting may feel more casual than a presentation. But it happens in all presentation settings, and it's a problem with a quick fix.

It comes in the form of a someone playing with their hair, stroking their mustache or goatee, scratching their nose or resting their chin in their hand, and a million other little distractions. It's an unconscious habit, possibly a self-soothing or protective one, and most people don't realize they're doing it.

When you put your hand on your face repeatedly while speaking, one of four things is likely to happen:

1. Your movement becomes distracting and takes away from your content.

2. Your audience can't hear what you're saying because your hand muddles your voice.

3. Your audience can't see what you're saying because your hand covers your mouth.

4. Your audience believes you're embarrassed or hiding something because you hide your mouth.

When you're speaking, many audience members needs to see AND hear you. Nonverbal communication (gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, emotion, etc.) adds depth to your words and helps your audience better comprehend your attitude, personality and message.

It's also easier to understand what someone is saying when you can see their mouth, especially for participants with hearing impairments. 

Speaking for myself, one reason I don't like talking on the phone is that I can't see the other person's face. I can't fully grasp a conversation without seeing someone's mouth.

This is also an example of why it's harder to keep people engaged in a remote presentation, where your face might be tiny on the screen or not on the screen at all. Most of your ability to communicate nonverbally is absent.

If you have a tendency to put your hand on your face or near your mouth, ask someone to watch you next time you present, either onstage or in a meeting. 

Or record yourself to get a sense of your movement. If you're covering or obscuring your face or mouth repeatedly, become aware of this habit and start weaning yourself off of it.

Try breathing and relaxation techniques before you speak if you feel this habit is anxiety-related, but also know that awareness is your first line of defense. 

When you feel your hand drifting up toward your face, ask yourself if it's a necessary gesture or a habitual one, then act accordingly. I have allergies and, even though I take several allergy medications, I have a really itchy nose and eyes. So I often have to legit scratch during a presentation!

What do you have to hide?

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Holiday shopping list for your favorite speaker

I've updated my annual shopping list again this year to help you find the best gifts for your favorite speaker -- who might just be you! Updates are marked with two asterisks (**) for readers who want to jump right to the new stuff.

Technology

Record and analyze your presentation with a digital voice recorder.

** Or, you can turn your smart phone into a voice recorder by purchasing a cool adapter that turns the headset jack into a microphone jack! All you need is one of these handy adapters and a wired lapel microphone. Then download the appropriate recording application for your phone (mine was free), and there's no need to buy a voice recorder at all!

Videotape yourself (and -- why not? -- your audience) with this tiny Flip Mino camcorder.

Unhitch yourself from the laptop with a wireless presentation remote.

If you don't want to leave your technology to chance, invest in your own portable Super-Slim Data Projector.

** I take a portable 4-port USB hub like this one to every presentation. I never know when I will need more ports (for example, ports on the host's computer are too close together for more than one of my USB drives to fit).

** The best investment I made all year was on this tiny, lightweight netbook to replace my monolithic laptop computer for travel. Now the laptop stays on my desk and the netbook goes with me to presentations. Save your back - get a netbook!

Visuals

Make your audience notes portable when you carry a lightweight table top easel pad.

Or if you're in the market for a reusable flip chart, try this table top dry erase easel pad (I've never tried this one but I love the idea!).

I like these scented colored markers, but if you prefer unscented bullet tip markers, try these instead.

Fun and Useful Tools

Document stand for your speaker notes.

To keep your audience engaged and stimulated, bring toys, toys, and more toys.

Use this hand pointer to poke some fun at the audience.

** Need a way to haul all your tools and materials around? I've got a rolling craft cart similar to this one. Holds everything I need!

Reading Recommendations

Still my favorite book out there: Learn how to make your message memorable with Chip and Dan Heath's Made to Stick.

Dump the boring templates and bullets and create engaging support materials with Beyond Bullet Points.

** Titles a bore? Not any more! Get Sam Horn's POP! Create the Perfect Pitch, Title, and Tagline For Anything, and give your presentation and blog titles that extra WOW factor.

Get the inside scoop on handling media like a pro with Media Training A-Z.

An interesting sneak peek behind the scenes of the motivational speaking industry Yes You Can! Behind the Hype and Hustle of the Motivation Biz.

If you'd like an alternative to the usual Martin Luther King/Lincoln/Churchill "famous speeches" books, how about one that shines the spotlight on historical speeches by women? Women at the Podium : Memorable Speeches in History.

Packed full of useful tips based on real professional speakers' experiences, National Speakers Association "Speaker Magazine" is a must-have to build your skills.

** And if you don't like lugging books around with you, maybe it's time to invest in a Kindle. Once you buy your Kindle, then you can download this blog and my 101 Tips to Improve Your Public Speaking to take with you!

Whew! The list grows every year, and I hope you find something here to make your presentations smoother and more effective, or a gift for that special speaker in your life. Happy Holidays!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Passion, courage, and speaking from the heart

Just in case you haven't heard the story or watched the video of 14-year-old Graeme Taylor speaking out against a teachers' suspension, here it is. This is the kind of presentation or speech we all strive for: our message spoken from the heart, with passion and eloquence, clarity, courage and confidence.

I'm purposely leaving out the bigger story, because regardless of our positions on the teacher and his suspension, this speech stands alone as something we can learn from as speakers.

 
The only aspect of this speech I would question are the statistics; I always recommend validating statistics before you repeat them, as our credibility can easily sink when we repeat incorrect stats.

But this speech is about passionately speaking out for what one believes in, and articulating a message clearly and concisely, and as a model for speeches, I find it inspiring.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

This week -- Two free calls and a thank you

First, a quick thank you to Lisa Stewart at INDIECreatives for inviting me to guest post on her blog. Check it out if you want to know how to promote your business without sounding like a commercial.

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Then, two (count 'em, TWO) FREE (unrelated) calls happening this week -- I hope you can make it to one or the other! Or both... why not?

** Thursday, November 18, 12:00 noon PST: I'm going to be interviewed by the Web Marketing Therapy expert, Lorrie Thomas, on the Wild Web Women BlogTalk Radio show.

Call in to to hear our discussion about my favorite public speaking success tips:

Make it about the audience
Rethink the rules
Get them involved
Be true to yourself

Here's the link with call-in info.

** Friday, November 19, 10:00 a.m. PST: It's the first call in my AskLisaB Q&A call-in series!

This will be a monthly subscription series and the content will be determined by questions submitted by members. Your first two calls are FREE!

Call dates:

Friday, November 19, at 10:00 a.m. PST
Tuesday, December 14, at 10:00 a.m. PST

All calls after that will take place on the second Tuesday of the month at 10:00 a.m. PST.

Register now, then submit your question and I'll talk to you Friday!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

If George Lucas designed your presentation

In the documentary, "Industrial Light & Magic: Creating the Impossible," the birth of the modern special effects industry is celebrated. George Lucas founded ILM when he began work on Star Wars, because he had ideas for visual effects in his head that hadn't yet been invented.

At the time, special effects were used almost exclusively to create scenes with monsters and space ships and explosions (and the very cool twister in The Wizard of Oz), and were still fairly rudimentary in how they were made and filmed.

But as the technology became more advanced, including CG (computer graphics), the movie industry realized that visual effects could be used to much more subtle effect.

"At one point in Forrest Gump, he's playing ping pong and he's playing at this phenomenal speed. You might ask, 'How did Tom Hanks learn how to play ping pong?' Well, the answer of course is, he doesn't. He's just moving the paddle, and somebody's putting the ball in....

So it's this simple little thing, but what it meant was the story point would go into movie and the audience doesn't know or care about it. And we reached that point where it's not about special effects any more. It's about telling the story."

~ Ed Catmull, director, Lucasfilm Computer Division 1979-1986

In the documentary, Ed and other ILM veterans talk about the CG team being able to manipulate the sky to get the kind of shot they wish they had photographed. You see Gary Sinise's legs literally being erased for the character of Lieutenant Dan. And you see the ridiculously skillful ping pong matches played by Forrest Gump that, when the movie came out, astounded many of us.

Visual effects have grown up. They can just as easily be applied to comedy, drama, science fiction and adventure movies. They enhance many genres of film, not just action. As Samuel L. Jackson says in the documentary,

"We're all jaded when we go to movies. We watch all kinds of stuff that we aren't supposed to be looking for. We're looking for the seams, we're looking for the cracks. But when they make you forget all that and pull you into the magic that is the story, then they've succeeded."

If you're using PowerPoint or other slideware in your presentations, then you are using visual effects. But in most presentations, we are not going for Star Wars- or Jurassic Park-style effects. Nor are we aiming for effects that have no purpose or benefit to the scene.

We are going more for the kinds of effects that subtly add clouds or a sunset to a plain sky to enhance the mood of a scene, or remove a character's legs to make his war injuries appear more realistic.

"...It's not about special effects.... It's about telling the story."

Ask yourself if your slides are too dramatic for your presentation. (Your special effects are taking over and you're becoming an action film.) Ask yourself if your slides are superfluous and unnecessary for your presentation. (Some presentations don't need special effects at all, like documentaries.)

When your visuals are the perfect enhancement, adding to the story, but not becoming the story, then you are using your visuals properly. George Lucas would be proud.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Public speaking coaching call-in program starts next Friday!

You have questions? I have answers!

Registration is officially OPEN for my new monthly public speaking coaching call-in program!

This Q&A-based subscription call-in program will run once a month and will address all your public speaking questions.

And... your first two calls are FREE! Give it a trial run and see what you think. You can unsubscribe at any time.

The first call is Friday, November 19 at 10:00 a.m. PST and the second call is Tuesday, December 14 at 10:00 a.m. PST.

The content of each month's call will be determined by questions submitted by subscribers. Questions will be answered in the order received, so sign up now to make sure yours is at the top of the list!

Visit AskLisaB.com for details and to subscribe.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Do you make your audience feel stupid?

I was reading an article the other day, one geared toward speakers. The author was describing how he had reinvigorated his business as the speaking market had changed along with the economy.

First, he described their solution:

"We listened to our customers and created a new platform of service deliverables to meet their needs and wants. We continue to produce revenue from speeches and seminars, royalties, products, contract training, coaching and consulting, but by adapting how we went to market, we developed some innovative ways to deliver our services to meet the changing needs of a different marketplace."

Huh.

And then he later described the results:

"Responding to the needs of a new marketplace, we were able to provide insights, experience and expertise in our new vertical content areas of entrepreneurship and negotiation, beyond our core competency of sales training."

Got it. "By initiating communication and learning platforms," they were able to "present some expanded solutions to satisfy their true needs."

The whole article is like this, with only one example mentioned about how they actually accomplished these changes. Otherwise, it's one buzzword after another, one generic, jargony sentence after another, saying nothing that actually intrigues or engages me or makes them stand out in a crowd of training companies.

Let me just remind you that this article was written by speakers for speakers. Written by someone who's supposed to know that it's all about the audience. Written by someone who's supposed to know that the most important thing is to engage, connect, relate.

Maybe the author was trying to impress us. Maybe he really talks that way all the time. Maybe he was trying to come across as a "very important businessman." Whatever his intentions, his communication completely failed with me. The article was a big snooze, I didn't learn a single thing from it, and it made him look pompous and out of touch.

When you use a lot of jargon or lingo (no matter what your industry), people don't get impressed. They either get lost or they get turned off altogether. Do you know if your audience even understands what you're saying?

In listening to a client's presentation the other day, I jotted down a few expressions that she used. One was that their product was "hosted in the cloud." The other was that the product was "wysiwyg."

I asked her if her prospects would understand these terms. She responded, "I don't even know what 'hosted in the cloud' means. I heard my boss say it in her presentation and added it to mine.'" So if someone on the call were to ask the meaning of this expression, my client wouldn't be able to explain it. There goes a whole bunch of credibility.

As for "wysiwyg," she confessed that she had never heard the term before she started this job, and that probably most of her prospects would not know what it meant. So why use it?

Because we get caught up in the jargon of our industries, oftentimes repeating words or phrases we don't even understand ourselves. We don't even think twice about repeating things we've heard others say; we don't stop to think what might happen if someone actually said, "What does that mean?"

And to be honest, your audience might not ask. They won't ask because they have big adult egos that are very fragile. They don't want to look foolish asking the question because they assume they're the only one who doesn't understand. And if they don't ask, they end up feeling confused or frustrated. And they probably won't buy your product or hire you, because they don't know what the heck you're talking about.

So please. I beg you. Speak plain English to your audiences. If you must use an industry acronym or expression (and you must, I understand), explain it. Make the assumption that people don't know and just spell it out. Don't ask, "Does everyone know what that means?" Your audience may or may not be honest with you, may or may not want to display their ignorance for the whole crowd to witness.

And beware the buzzwords. It's unfortunately way too easy to put together a presentation that sounds completely generic and unoriginal based entirely on business buzzwords. I'm sure you hear these presentations all the time, and they have absolutely no impact on your audience. Is that really what you want? To give a presentation that has no impact on your audience except to motivate them to leave the room as quickly as possible?

Jargon pushes people away. The best way to impress your audience is to be real with them. To speak a language they understand, and can relate to. Connect with them, tell stories, use examples, engage them. Don't put them to sleep or make them feel stupid. You're the one who will bear the consequences.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Speaking from a script doesn't have to sound scripted

Photo by Paula Bailey

I generally don't recommend using a script or memorizing a presentation, but there are times when you don't have a choice, like when you're handed a script to read that was written by someone else. Or you may choose to use a script when your audience can't see you; for example, when you're giving a webinar.

So for those of you who occasionally use a script, here are some tips for making your presentation sound fresh, not canned.

1. Write like you speak, don't speak like you write.

Writing and speaking are two different languages. Writing is formal, structured, permanent, with longer sentences and paragraphs, and ideas organized through grammar and punctuation to get our meaning across. The reader makes meaning of the words by adding her or his own mental "voice" and imagination to the text on the page. Writing is meant to be read.

Speech is living, changing and happening in the moment, with ideas starting, stopping, shifting and adapting in the space of the conversation or presentation. We employ nonverbal communication to emphasize words, act out scenes, paint pictures and express the emotion behind our ideas. Speech is meant to be heard and seen.

If you speak like you write, you will most likely come across as though you are reading from a tome, and not in a good way. If you write it this way (the way you were taught in high school...no dangling modifiers, split infinitives or sentences beginning with "but" or "and"), and if you are not an actor or professional speaker, you will have to put a lot of time into making your script sound natural. Your script is not meant as a document, but as a living, breathing conversation. Write it that way.

2. Slow down

When reading from a script, the faster you go, the more robotic you sound. Slow down and pay attention to the punctuation, the pauses, the periods, the question marks. Reading slower also lessens the likelihood that your eyes and brain will get ahead of you, causing you to stumble over words. Of course, if you practice reading your script aloud, you can also reduce the likelihood of mishaps, so make sure you practice the script several times aloud.

3. Rewrite where needed

Perhaps the script was written by someone else, and you are required to read it. There's nothing more awkward than reading a script written in someone else's voice (unless you're an actor, in which case that's the definition of your job).

If you are able to take some time with the script, find the awkward phrasing and expressions that don't sound like you and rewrite them in different words that do sound like you.

You may or may not have permission to change the script, but at least make a case for changing expressions that you would never use, like "Terrific!" to expressions you would use, like "Fabulous!" If the writer of the script is from a different part of the country, there may be regional words and phrases that don't sound natural coming from your mouth.

I'm reminded of working with a copywriter from England a while back on a sales page for my website. I changed a lot of his expressions that were not only things I wouldn't say, like "Shy Sally," and "bizarro," but were also clearly British! I rewrote instances of "whilst," "learnt," "click of the fingers" (instead of "snap of the fingers"), and other non-Southern-California-American-English content.

Even small changes that are more natural to your normal way of speaking will make a big impact on how you sound when reading the script.

Remember: A script is not a document. It's meant to be read aloud as speech. As such, it must be written as though you are speaking, not spoken as though it were writing. Got it? Good.

Read my follow-up post here: Another tip for reading from a script.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Are you afraid they won't need you?

Here's a quick follow-up to my post about giving vs. hoarding, about the conviction that you have to save all your best info for paying clients and never give anything away for free.

Another problem I run into with clients is that, not only do they not want to give anything away for free, but they don't want prospects to learn how to "do it themselves." That is, if I teach you how to do what I do (sewing, carpentry, interior design), you won't hire me to do it!

This is just another path on the road to becoming Stingy McStingerson. You can never teach your prospects everything you know. You can never give away all your expertise -- it's just not possible. Holding back makes you seem less than helpful, and all about the green stuff.

And so what if you do teach someone a trick that they can use when fixing the sink or repairing a bike tire? Does that mean they'll never need you for anything else? In fact, they may still come to you for a bike tire repair or sink fix, because they just don't have the time or inclination to do it themselves.

I have a client who's a seamstress. She's afraid to teach anyone sewing techniques for fear that they won't hire her. Well, guess what. I know how to hem a pair of pants. I even know how to MAKE a pair of pants, although I haven't done it in years. But do I have the time? Sometimes. Do I really like doing it? Occasionally. But for those other times, I take the pants to my seamstress. And for more complicated alterations, I don't even bother doing it myself, because I don't want to take the chance of ruining an expensive item of clothing.

My husband recently needed a bike tuneup for a triathlon. He knows how to do it himself, but he took the bike to a shop because 1) it hadn't been done in a long time and needed a thorough going-over and 2) he wanted to make sure his bike was in its best condition for this important race. He could have done it himself, but might have missed some issues with gear shifting that the bike shop caught.

It's okay to teach your clients what you know. It's okay to show them how to do it for themselves. They will still need you. They will still refer people to you. They will appreciate your generosity and yes, they will repay you with their business.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Save the dates: Group coaching call-in program starts soon!

I'm on the verge of starting a coaching call-in program, and I wanted to put you on alert!

I've had a lot of people express disappointment that my current group coaching program is only available in person in Santa Barbara, so I've decided to start a simple Q&A-based subscription call-in program that will run once a month for anyone to join.

And... the first two calls will be FREE! Give it a trial run and see what you think. You can unsubscribe at any time.

The two free calls will be held on Friday, November 19 at 10:00 a.m. PST, and Tuesday, December 14 at 10:00 a.m. PST.

Once I have all my ducks in a row and my question-gathering apparatus ready to roll, I'll let you know and you can sign up!

Stay tuned....

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Who let my mom in? Or, Don't guess when you dress

Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt out of place? For whatever reason, you just didn't belong? I experienced this a few days ago, and it reminded me of the necessity of doing your research before a presentation.

No, thank goodness, this experience didn't take place at a speaking engagement. I'm much better at planning for those occasions than I apparently am when going out to a restaurant/bar for a networking meeting.

I don't normally care that much if I'm not dressed like everyone else. After all, I'm an individual, and I'm happy to stand out in a crowd. In a good way.

But Thursday evening at about 5:20 p.m., I arrived at Blush restaurant in white seersucker cropped pants, a white button-down shirt, and a gray tank top, and was greeted at the entrance by two barely twenty-somethings in black nightclub attire.

So, I'm dressed to read the paper with my coffee and pastry at Peet's on a Sunday morning, and everyone else in the place is in black minis and four-inch heels. Um... oh.

It wouldn't have bothered me so much, but I was early for the networking event, as I was hosting it, and sitting on a patio sofa sipping a sangria by myself for a good ten minutes. I could sense the staff and customers eying me and wondering, "Who let my mom in?"

Soon enough, my fellow Santa Barbara Female Entrepreneurs began to arrive, and while every single one of them looked infinitely hipper than I did, I started to feel a lot less like I was wearing a conehead.

What does this have to do with presentations again? Oh yeah: Make sure you know who is in the audience. Not just in how you dress (you might be significantly older or younger, or of a significantly different cultural background, for example, and these situations come with their own research requirements), but this is one situation where not fitting in with the group will not only be obvious and make you feel awkward, but might confuse the audience as well.

Will the audience be in suits? Don't show up in resortwear. This is a given. However, sometimes we forget that we can over-dress for a presentation just as easily as under-dress. Perhaps your audience is on a retreat at a resort and they ARE wearing resortwear. A suit is going to be superfluous and make you seem overly stiff and formal. Go business casual and meet them in the middle. Even better, talk to the organizer specifically about how they would like you to dress. There can be no confusion if you address the question directly.

I've given corporate trainings where some audience members were in baggy t-shirts and shorts and others were dressed up. I've coached one group where their CEO insisted they put on suits because they would be practicing public speaking and he wanted them to be fully in character. Other audiences have worn resortwear, polo shirts, cashmere and pearls, and student chic.

"Fitting in" doesn't mean you have to look or be exactly like your audience. You can still be your unique self with your own unique style. However, if you want to avoid feeling awkward and out of place, which will certainly interfere with your comfort level while speaking, do your research and find out who your audience is and what they're all about before you decide what to wear.

I'm pretty good at wearing the right thing to my speaking engagements. Now I just have to apply that skill to my social engagements. Ooops. Share your stories of sartorial mistakes in the comments!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!