Are your identities "real?"

Are you a "real" writer? A "real" artist? A "real" speaker?🤔

I've published a nonfiction book, a microfiction story, and I write practically every day, as well as competing in writing challenges. I even wrote a children's book that I've never published.

Why does it feel weird to call myself a writer?

Do you have the same barrier?🧱

We watched the movie "A Little White Lie," and this bit of dialogue hurt:

"Teresa: I'm excited for the students to meet, like, a real writer.

Shriver: Well, aren't there plenty of real writers here? T., Simone?

Teresa: It's like the only place you can find their books is in the college bookstore in the local author section."

Ouch.🤕

You can't find my book in brick and mortar bookstores. It's on Amazon and some other online sites, and I have a couple boxes in my office for events and clients. But it's not a best seller or known by more than probably a thousand people.

Even though I write every day, how many people see it? Not many, in the grand scheme of things.

So can I call myself a writer? If I'm not famous? If I don't make a living at it?

Well, yes. Yes I can.

Because I decide what my identities are. I'm a "real" writer.📝

An electrician has to go through training and then an apprenticeship, gain thousands of hours of experience, then take an exam and get an certificate before they can even apply for a license.

Of course, writing, speaking and making art aren't as dangerous as electrical work, and I would like to know an electrician won't kill me or himself working in my house.⚡🔌

But if there isn't some external "proof" of your identities, how can you know what to call yourself?

My husband paints; his art is all over our house. Has he sold any? No. Does he have formal training? No. Is he an artist? He hesitates to own that identity, but yes, he is.

I used to market my programs and coaching to "speakers," but I realized that so many of the business presenters I work with—who speak as part of their jobs or as a way to gain visibility and credibility—don't identify as "real" speakers.

So they didn't see themselves in my marketing!💡

Now I call them something they can identify with: "business presenters" or "people who speak for their organization." That one's a little awkward. 🤷🏻

How about you? Are you uncomfortable identifying yourself a certain way because you don't feel "real?"

How would it feel to say "I'm a speaker," "I'm a writer," "I'm an artist," "I'm an athlete," or "Insert yours here?"🎉

P.S. Also, transgender and nonbinary people have real identities, whether you believe in them or not.

👇🏼Share your thoughts below! 

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Embrace imperfect action

"It's always easier to just say no. It's always easier to say 'We can't do it.' 

Because when you say 'We will try to do it,' now you're changing things, and whenever you change, there's opposition. Every time. 

So it's always easier just to stay status quo. It's always easier not to risk, not to try to raise the bar. Because maybe you can't do it, maybe there will be problems. So it's easier just to say no, it's easier to say 'This is all we can do. It's impossible.' 

That's not what the mayor is doing here. The mayor is stepping up and he's stepping up in a big way."

~ New York Governor Andrew Cuomo

California's governor, Gavin Newsom, was the first to issue stay at home orders when the numbers of positive COVID-19 tests began to rise. Newsom also has partnered with the Federal Emergency Management Agency to launch a one-of-a-kind program that will use local restaurants to prepare and deliver free food for eligible seniors.

Not everyone is happy with Newsom's decisions, like today's decision to shut down state and local beaches in Orange County because of large crowds over the past weekend and high numbers of coronavirus cases and hospitalizations.

But Newsom is not trying to please everyone. He's taking actions, backed by research, that he believes to be the best actions for Californians. Regarding the beaches, he said, "I hope it’s just a very short-term adjustment."

California and other states are modeling—on a daily basis—what imperfect action looks like, in the face of a challenge none of our leaders has experienced before.

As Governor Cuomo said in his address on April 30 (quoted above), "It's always easier not to risk, not to try to raise the bar." He points out that there will be opposition, and that it's easier to do nothing than to possibly create more problems.

What would you rather see in your leaders?

Would you rather have a leader that sits back out of fear of criticism, fear of making mistakes, or fear of not getting reelected?

Or would you rather have a leader who tests solutions to the best of their ability, gathering as much data as possible in order to make informed decisions, and then fixes mistakes as they go along?

Our leaders are under tremendous strain and pressure right now, and I would not want to be in any of their shoes.

The best leaders are striving to serve. They're not focusing on fears of failure, they're focusing on getting the needs of their people met, however they can.

Every leader has a choice right now: Take no action, or take imperfect action. That's it.

Which leader are you? Striving for perfection, focusing on your own potential failures, or striving to serve your people?

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I'd love to help you take imperfect action on your next presentation! If you struggle with inaction due to perfectionist tendencies, always waiting to get ready... to get ready... take a look at my 8 Steps to Ditching Perfection and Creating Connection workshop, coming up on May 7!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Your audience needs you - now

🔸What are you holding back on releasing to the world because you're still getting ready... to get ready... to get ready?

🔸Are you delaying the release of a new program, a new product, a new virtual training?

🔸What could you accomplish - right now - if you could just get over your need to be a "perfect" presenter?

Ditch🧹it! Dump🗑️it! Kick🦶🏽 it to the curb! Perfection, that is. 

My workshop "8 Steps to Ditching Perfection and Creating Connection" will set you up for speaking success with 8 actionable tools that you can put into practice immediately.

Your audience needs your message and your solutions!

Reserve your spot now.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

8 steps to ditching perfection and creating connection

Even if we've mastered our perfectionist tendencies, these new challenges of presenting virtually seem to be bringing them all back up again. (At least for me... 😬)

So I'm launching a new workshop on ditching perfection and creating connection, based on the concepts in my book.

Ready to 🎶"let it go?"🎶 This will be a deeper dive into my core teachings, with 8 clear action steps to ditching perfection and creating connection.

Best of all, this is not an 8-week program, or a 4-week program, or a 5-day challenge.

It's a 90-minute workshop that will be packed with practical tools you can use right away (even - and especially - in the virtual training environment)!

Also: Like my other current programs, I'm offering COVID-friendly pricing!

Registration is now open! Reserve your spot here: https://bit.ly/8Steps-DitchPerfection.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Get your free copy of Presenting for Humans before April 15

Hey y'all! I'm giving away 100 digital copies of Presenting for Humans: Insights for Speakers on Ditching Perfection and Creating Connection!

I'm celebrating the second anniversary of publishing my first book on April 14 and I want you to have a copy! The giveaway started today and 51 copies are already gone, so if you're a Goodreads member, get over there ASAP to reserve your free digital download.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Presenting for Humans

by Lisa Braithwaite

Get your free copy of Presenting for Humans! Giveaway ends April 15.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

It's hard to be human

Pretending to be a giant at the Christmas tree lot

Most of my clients aren't afraid of speaking. They're well past the point where they avoid speaking engagements or rush to get them over with. My clients are typically at a point in their level of experience where they want to better engage with their audiences, create more of an impact and leave their audiences with a greater transformation.

However, there's still this bothersome issue of "being human."

As comfortable as many of us are on stage, it's still hard to overcome this angst around appearing human, flawed, inadequate, deficient, or just plain foolish. We want to be liked, respected, admired, appreciated and valued. But if the audience finds out that we're "human..." uh oh.

This week, I was excited to meet one of my clients in person for the first time. I had enjoyed working with her over the phone and am lucky that she lives close enough that we could meet for lunch.

However, I had misgivings. She had told me how much personal development she experienced from coaching with me, and that she considered me a mentor. I was honored to have played such an important role in her growth. Now what if, when she met me in person, she discovered that the "real" me was totally different than that person who had coached her?

What if I acted like a goofball at lunch? What if she noticed that I bite my nails? What if she thought my outfit was weird? What if I dribbled food on my chin? What then?

So even though some of my core coaching is around being real, around not worrying what people think of us, and around ditching perfection in order to create connection, I still fall into this trap, too. I still face the impostor syndrome on a regular basis, and I still worry that people will discover that I'm human, flawed, inadequate, deficient, or just plain foolish.

And yes, I'm all of those things. So are you (from time to time). But you're also unique, one-of-a-kind, and completely different from every other human being in the world. And this is what makes your words, your stories and your message incredibly valuable as a speaker. This is what makes it imperative that you stop dwelling on being perfect, and just get up on stage and share your ideas with those who need to hear them.

I still worry sometimes that I won't be liked, respected, admired, appreciated and valued. It's a process.

However, many many years ago, I stopped changing myself to fit in and to be accepted based on others' opinions of what was "normal." I stopped adjusting my behaviors, my voice, my practices, my clothing, my silly faces, my hair, and my way of showing up in the world to make other people happy.

I'd rather be 100% who I am and maybe sometimes not fit in than always fit in and not be myself. How about you?

Are you afraid you might slip during a presentation and the audience will see the real you? Are you afraid of them discovering that you're human?

Check out my book, Presenting for Humans: Insights for Speakers on Ditching Perfection and Creating Connection, which is currently available for pre-order. Order your signed copy now and also get free tax and shipping, a downloadable workbook, and a dozen bonuses from my coaching, speaking and consulting colleagues!

Be real. Be you. Be human. 

It can be a legitimate struggle, but it's SO worth it.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Presenting for Humans: Insights for Speakers on Ditching Perfection and Creating Connection

It's coming, it's coming!

I'm expecting my book, Presenting For Humans: Insights for Speakers on Ditching Perfection and Creating Connection, to be available on Amazon by the end of March, and hopefully to have some hard copies in hand to sign for my VIP supporters!

• If you’re looking to make a significant impact on your audiences by offering a transformative growth experience… 
• If you’re ready to share the complex unabridged version of yourself onstage… 
• If you’re tired of trying to impress people and fit yourself into a cookie-cutter mold of “speaker” that doesn’t even exist, this book is the resource to help get you there.

When you look inside this book, you might be surprised to discover that it's not a public speaking “how-to” book. It’s certainly not an academic tome. There’s no step-by-step formula or system to follow, and you won’t learn what to do with your hands or how to write a keynote.

What you will learn is how striving for perfection gets in the way of making the connection you crave. You’ll learn how letting go of your need to impress your audiences frees you up to stop taking yourself so seriously and to have fun on stage.

You’ll learn how you can break the habit of hiding behind a rigid façade of “professionalism” that creates an emotional barrier between you and the audience. And you’ll learn how being real, transparent and genuine is a gift of connection you give to your audience that brings them into your world and allows you to access theirs.

My philosophy is that public speaking is fun, it's an awesome way to express yourself creatively, and that connection and engagement are worth more than a thousand techniques.

And that’s why Presenting for Humans: Insights for Speakers on Ditching Perfection and Creating Connection focuses on upgrading your mindset around how you perceive and create your relationship with the audience.

Through short essays based on everyday encounters and experiences, and reflection questions at the end of each section, the book asks you to question what you already know about speaking.

Presenting for Humans encourages you to create a meaningful and memorable experience with every presentation. It prompts you to come from a place of service, of doing what’s best for your audience rather than what’s easiest for you. It suggests that you step back and take a break from techniques and rules, instead focusing on boldly revealing your true self on stage, being present, and creating connection.

If you'd like to be the first to know when I start taking pre-orders (for signed copies), you can join my book launch advance notice list here.

This book has been ten years in the making, and I can't believe it's almost here!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!