Be the opposite of AI

Be the opposite of AI.

Have you seen these promos?

"No more spending hours designing slides; create visually stunning presentations with AI in just seconds!"

🙄

👉🏼 If you care about accuracy and facts...

👉🏼 If you care about authenticity and human connection...

👉🏼 If you care about being known for your own thought leadership and unique perspective...

Please be the opposite of AI.

Natalia Sanyal wrote this as one of her two top marketing trends for humanity-first businesses in 2024: "With AI-generated content taking over our feeds, humanity-first businesses seemed more motivated than ever to show their audience that their content is human-generated and anything but generic."

Creating an effective presentation requires more than just feeding some text into an AI app. And your presentation is more than just slides.

Before you can make slides, you need content. How do you create content for your presentations?

By figuring out who your audience is and what they need, want and care about so you can solve their problems using your expertise and experience.

AI is absolutely helpful in brainstorming, organizing, and even structuring a presentation.

But you still need to personalize it with your own voice and your own ideas. You need to create engagement and collaboration with the participants to help them learn and apply what you're teaching.

Otherwise, you just end up saying and doing what everyone else is already saying and doing. And sure, if you don't care about being generic, have at it. 

Jar of rocks? Starfish story? I asked ChatGPT for additional examples of overused presentation stories and it added the boiling frog story and the bamboo tree story, along with "Einstein’s Definition of Insanity," which Einstein never even said. Which somehow doesn't keep generic presenters from using it over and over.

And then, of course, you have to deliver these ideas physically, in a room or on a screen. AI certainly can't do that for you. It's up to you to bring the human touch, the emotional connection, the humor, and your one-of-a-kind point of view. 

AI is a great tool. I LOVE it. I use it all the time to help me cut short some of the brainstorming time with my presentations. And it can definitely help me round out some of my ideas, clarify and condense some of the things I want to say.

But it's no substitute for my own thought leadership, lived experience, personal examples, stories and experiments.

If you want to create a relevant, practical, useful, engaging presentation that is meaningful and memorable for your audience, AI is not gonna cut it. 

And any presentation you create "in seconds" with AI is probably gonna be junk. Like these images I made to try to illustrate this post.

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Make a fool of yourself

When we were in LA recently, I made my husband drive around the block into an alley with this blue wall, and then take about a hundred pictures of me so I could make graphics like this one. 📸

Do I feel foolish doing these poses in public while people walk and drive by?

Maybe a little. 🤷🏻

My husband is very patient with my requests; he knows that any time we go somewhere together, I might ask him to stop in a weird place and take some weird pictures.

But taking silly pictures and videos in public is probably the LEAST embarrassing thing I do on a regular basis.

I make a fool of myself practically every time I give a presentation. And every time I learn from it.

I learn what works, what doesn't work, how to recover from mishaps, and how to engage my audience more effectively.

I put myself out there because that's how I grow as a person and as a presenter.

Every time I enter a microfiction contest, I risk embarrassing myself with a story that readers don't get, or that doesn't place, even though I thought it was good.

Or maybe I didn't think it was good, but entered it anyway because it was the best I could do given the prompts and the 24-hour constraints.

Some thoughts on a Sunday: Stop worrying about embarrassing yourself. Just get out there, make mistakes, look foolish. Get out of your comfort zone, push past the discomfort and create learning experiences for yourself!

P.S. Also, if you have a chubby gut and a double chin, take the picture anyway.

What have you done lately to look foolish on purpose? Share your thoughts below! 👇🏼

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Visibility can be awkward; do it anyway

You hate bringing attention to yourself. Taking selfie pics and videos makes you want to hurl. I get it.

But if you're an entrepreneur, you need to be seen and heard. And those images and videos of you working, playing, and living your life help people get to know you.

When you go to someone's social media or their website and all you see are stock photos, aren't you a little bit put off? We want to know who's behind the curtain! 🫣

Here are my thoughts on how to make selfies less awkward (keep in mind, it takes a LOT to embarrass me, and even *I* feel weird walking around town shooting videos of myself 😳).

📷 Ask your partner to take pics and videos when you're out and about

It's always less awkward when someone does it for you! My husband knows that when we leave the house, he'll be called into duty as my documentarian.

He knows that documenting my life and work is just part of being visible, and he does it unenthusiastically. 😂 Sometimes I get a laugh out of him if I'm being particularly weird.

📹 Make a date with a fellow entrepreneur

Plan a lunch, a walk on the beach, some wine tasting or a coffee date and make a deal that you'll document each other.

It's still having someone else do it, but this way, you both benefit from the photo shoot. Just film yourselves having fun! (There are also now "selfie museums" that are made just for these kinds of photo shoots.) It's also a good excuse for the ones where you actually do your hair and dress up a little. 

🛠️ Have the right tools

And by tools, I mean phone and tripod. I have a Pocket Tripod by Geometrical Inc. that sits in my wallet, slightly thicker than a credit card. I pull it out, assemble it, and voila! Always ready for a selfie.

😵‍💫 Realize that people aren't paying attention to you

The truth is, most people won't even notice or care about what you're doing. Sitting on a park bench taking a selfie? Who really cares?

Everywhere you go, people are filming themselves, their friends, their views, their food, their pets... it's a *thing.*

When you're out and about, put your phone in your hand. Be ready when the inspiration strikes. Cool wall? Take a pic in front of it! Trees and greenery? Great backdrop. Funny sign? Perfect spot to pose.

Build a library of selfies and videos (aka "b-roll") so you always have something to add to your website and your socials, especially for those times when you just don't feel up to a pic.

🛑 Oh, and that thing people say, "Selfie for the algo..."? You don't need to explain yourself for posting pictures on social media. Pics get more engagement than anything else you can post. So stop explaining or apologizing and just do it!

How do you build your selfie library? Share below!

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A unexpected presentation in living color

Here I am looking "unprofessional." And giving a presentation. 🤯

Even *I*, with my "live and let live" attitude about what constitutes professionalism, never dress like this to present. I just haven't found a fun, colorful, comfortable outfit that works for me, so I default back to my routine gray, black, white.

Once I'm done speaking, though, I'm back in my bright, colorful clothes.

So on the second day of the conference, when the speaker didn't show up for their breakout, I jumped in and ended up doing an impromptu session on remote/virtual presentations...

...wearing THIS outfit! A wacky patterned skirt, magenta sneakers, two chunky plastic cuff bracelets, my longest earrings, bright, bold, loud, and 100% me.

Did I do a great job? I think I did. 🤷🏻

Did I overthink what I was wearing before I stood up? No time.

Did anyone care what I was dressed like while they were receiving value and resources? Pretty sure that's a no (but we'll see if they write me into the evaluation, which still has the booked speaker's name for that session)!

🪄Once again, I find myself teaching what I most need to learn. And I need to go shopping, because the days of the black and gray uniform are over.

Are you still stuck in a rut with your presentation outfits? Tell me more!

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Who decides what's "inappropriate?"

She complained that I said "pee."

Once upon a time, an audience member e-mailed me to say that my language was inappropriate and to demand that I send an apology to the audience of 22 women.

(For context, I was explaining that your attendees need breaks during a long workshop or presentation or they'll be resentful when they have to get up to pee and miss some of your content.)

Also, I didn't say "resentful." I said "pissed off." She was offended by that, too.

If I had known the Ministry of Ladylike and Appropriate Language was going to be at my presentation, I would've...

…still said "pee."

I reviewed the evaluations and had a conversation with the president of the organization, one of my 1:1 clients. I had thoroughly researched the group when I accepted the engagement.

She and I concluded that this was the opinion of one person and not of the entire group. My client wasn't offended and apparently, neither was anyone else.

But it did bring up questions. How exactly can you KNOW what's going to offend someone? WHO decides what's "inappropriate?"

She was offended, but was I offensive?

Ideally, some words, attitudes and behaviors would always be considered universally inappropriate (think hate speech or the most vulgar curse words). And it would be easy to know what would offend people.

But we know for a fact that many people are not in agreement over what even constitutes sexist, racist, ableist, ageist, homophobic or transphobic language.

When I shared with my speaker friends that I had never had a complaint about offending someone, one of my colleagues said,

"You pressed the button...but she already had it installed."

Each of us presents on different topics.

Each of us has a unique personality and way of expressing ourselves.

Each audience is different and full of individuals.

The reactions we hope for vary from topic to topic, from attendee to attendee, from speaker to speaker.

Sometimes we're surprised when the reaction we get isn't the reaction we expected!

P.S. If you think my language was inappropriate, there's no need to share your feedback. I processed this incident years ago.

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They're never going to be ready for you

Nobody is ever ready for the people who are going to make the biggest impact.

Nobody is ever ready for the outspoken thought leaders with the nontraditional ideas and the bold presence.

They may be craving EXACTLY what you have to offer, but they don't know it yet.

That's the whole point of standing out as a changemaker.

My friend Precious Williams posted the other day "Remember when we all wanted to look, sound, and act successful and polished? Remember when we felt we had to fit in to be successful?" And she asked "Are they ready for the next version of you?"

My reply was "They're never ready, but I'm here anyway."🤷🏻

I'm guessing no one is ready for what they're going to experience when cutting-edge peeps like Joanne Lockwood, Dr. Tina Opie, Madison Butler, Pegine Echevarria and Precious walk into a room.

If they're ready for you, it's too late. You're already one of the crowd.

If they're ready for you, you're already blending in. You're already "safe."

So to me, the question is really "Are you ready for them NOT to be ready for YOU?"

Put yourself out there anyway. You're forging a path and paving the way for others to come behind you.

Someone has to be in front.

It's you.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

My 4 speaking nonnegotiables

What's your biggest concern about speaking? (You don't have to answer out loud.)

Whatever it is, I have 4 simple solutions that will address it!

The first one is preparation. I know everyone hates preparation. Nobody wants to make time for it. Preparation is just unloved. But you can't deliver the same presentation to an audience of travel agents that you're going to deliver to an audience of accountants.

Each audience is different and you can't approach different audiences with the exact same presentation. So preparation is that really boring thing that you have to do in advance so your presentations are tailored to the people you're speaking to.

Next is engagement. This is absolutely critical to creating an experience for your audience that they'll remember, that they'll take with them, that will motivate them to take action.

Engagement is how you actually get their brains to retain your information. Engagement doesn't mean being silly or pulling out a ukulele or making the audience all high-five each other.

There are a lot of things we hate in presentations. And one of these is when a speaker tries to engage us in a contrived way. But there are a lot of ways to engage your audience that can be authentic to you and not contrived.

Third is mindset. Probably most of the negative thoughts you have about getting in front of an audience aren't based in reality. It's all imagined. And because of that, you can change your mindset.

Mindset is both internal and external: it's how you perceive yourself, and it's also the outward manifestation of that perception of yourself. Developing a positive mindset is something I work on with a LOT of my clients.

The last thing is differentiating yourself by embracing your unique voice, personality and point of view. Being real creates connection. There's no substitute for getting on stage and connecting, bringing your own special qualities every time you get in front of an audience.

Which one of these four pillars of successful speaking would solve your biggest speaking concern? Reach out if you need support!

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Following my calling

A colleague of mine told me I left her hanging when I stopped posting my #ThisIsWhatProfessionalLooksLike campaign. She said that I had been on 🔥🔥🔥 and then everything stopped.

And she's right. The truth is, I felt uncertain about what to do next, where to go next. I got stuck. I froze. I dropped off. I felt like I needed a plan or a direction and because I don't, I got cold feet and quit posting.

I feel so CALLED to share my personal vision of inclusivity - that whatever your ethnic, religious or educational background, your age, weight, size, gender identity, race, appearance, mental health status, hair color or style, skin color or skin decoration, choice of personal self-expression, ability or disability, or sexual orientation, that 👉🏼👉🏾👉🏻👉🏿👉YOU 🔴🟠🟡🟢🔵🟣 are [what a professional looks like.]

My friend reminded me that I don't have to know what comes next. I don't have to control the outcome. I just have to keep showing up, spreading the word and #SpeakingUpForChange.

But I need your help, peeps.

I can represent myself: the middle-aged white, cisgender straight woman with pink hair, giant earrings, bright multi-patterned outfits, no makeup (okay, in this pic I was FULLY made up for my course filming with Madecraft!), flat shoes, bare arms, big mouth and bold opinions.

But I can't represent ALL the people who are diminished, overlooked and outright discriminated against because they don't fit a particular "socially-acceptable" norm.

I need voices to amplify, and I need fellow warriors!

This is where all of you can help spread the word that THIS IS WHAT PROFESSIONAL LOOKS LIKE!

I need the pink- and purple-haired warriors, the tattooed warriors, the trans warriors, the disability warriors, the nonbinary warriors, the nonconforming-and-self-expressed-in-other-ways warriors, everyone who's out there keepin' it real, and so many more of you I can't even tag here.

🏆Pro tip: You don't have to be a diversity and inclusion specialist to speak up for inclusion!

🏆You don't need to be a mental health expert to share your experiences.

🏆You don't have to be an expert on anything to speak your truth about what it means to be marginalized as a professional and to inspire others (who are still hiding) by your visibility.

So I need to unfreeze, unblock and unstick myself. Get back to work amplifying the professionals who inspire me with their willingness to show up in their fully human form. And keep showing up in mine.

Because if there's one group I can relate to almost more than any other, it's the UNPROFESSIONAL PROFESSIONAL! 😉

Join us on LinkedIn and don't forget the hashtag... #ThisIsWhatProfessionalLooksLike

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Why is it okay to not know some things, but not okay to not know other things? 🤔

It never occurred to me until about 10 days ago that I could put a shower cap on and keep my hairdo for an extra day!

Is anyone going to think I'm an idiot for not having thought of this before? And if they do, do I really care? I don't know everything. 🤷🏻

So now let me ask you this... Why are you embarrassed to admit you don't know everything about public speaking and presentations?

SOOOO many people are embarrassed about asking for help on things they aren't experts in. Guess what: you can't be an expert on everything!

You're an expert in some areas, and it's your job to know about those areas.

But you don't have to know everything about accounting, marketing, sales, coaching, speaking, or other things that are outside your area of expertise, right?

If you take your car to a repair shop, are you embarrassed that you don't know how to repair your car? If you have somebody do alterations to a pair of pants, are you embarrassed that you don't know how to sew?

I actually have clients who don't want their names on my website, even though they'll give me testimonials. Because they don't want anyone to know they went to a speaking coach.

Look, I just figured out that a shower cap is my new best friend. I'm 56 years old and I never thought of using a shower cap. Big fucking deal!

Do you need help with your speaking? There's nothing to be embarrassed about! I study this every day. It's my life's work. It's not yours. It's perfectly okay not to know stuff.

So how about reaching out and getting some support?

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

You are not the distraction

Let's talk about real distractions:

❌ Wordy and poorly designed slides
❌ Jangling change in your pocket
❌ Constant fiddling with hair and jewelry
❌ A monotonous or grating voice
❌ Overused crutch words and fillers
❌ Uncontrolled movement and pacing

What is not a distraction is you bringing your whole self to the presentation.

We've been told that we shouldn't "distract" with our appearance. That it takes away from the message.

But you are not separate from your message. You and your message are intertwined. You bring your message to life.

A personality void on stage is not what audiences want.

Audiences want a fully-formed human to connect with. They want an authentic relationship with you.

✅ Got tattoos?
✅ Purple hair?
✅ Giant earrings?
✅ A natural afro puff?
✅ Facial hair?
✅ A lisp?
✅ An accent?
✅ A disability?

Don't hide. Don't do the audience (and yourself) the disservice of incongruence. 

Who you are, what you believe, what you say, what you do, how you look: It's all YOU.

Bring it.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Transformation isn't all it's cracked up to be

We are obsessed with transformation. And I'm in the coaching world, so I should know!⁠

⁠Everywhere you look, there's another quote encouraging us to keep going, keep striving, because one day we will emerge as a beautiful butterfly.⁠

⁠This one from The Little Prince has got to be the most depressing: "Well, I must endure the presence of a few caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies."⁠

⁠Caterpillars (both butterfly and moth larvae) are just as varied as butterflies. They can be fuzzy, furry, spiky, horned, smooth, bright, striped, or spotted.⁠

⁠They exist for the pleasure of eating and growing bigger and bigger. They also contribute to the ecosystem by serving as highly nutritious food for birds and other predators. One naturalist calls moth caterpillars "nature's hotdogs." 🌭😆⁠

⁠(By the way, butterflies are also bird food. All that miraculous transformation doesn't protect them from predators.)⁠

⁠🐛𝗪𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗿𝘀.🐛⁠

⁠We go through mini-transformations on a regular basis while in our caterpillar state. Just like a caterpillar molts and sheds its skin several times as it grows bigger, we also grow as we shed our old ways, ideas, attitudes and behaviors.⁠⁠

We can keep doing that over and over throughout our lifetimes.⁠

⁠However, once a butterfly goes through its final major transformation, it only lives for a few short weeks. The butterfly stage is the END. There is no further transformation. ⁠

⁠Why are we so eager to get out of the caterpillar stage?⁠

⁠Personally, I'm happy to stay in my caterpillar stage as long as I can, all cute and chubby and colorful. To keep exploring, keep growing, keep eating everything in sight 😉. I'm in no hurry for the "end" to come, whatever that even is. ⁠

⁠Is it even possible to stop growing? Would I want to?⁠

⁠P.S. I just hope I don't get chomped by a hungry Grosbeak.⁠

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Don't sweat the platitudes... and they're all platitudes

I need to have a chat with you about platitudes.

"Don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff."

Who decides what's small in YOUR life? What might seem small to someone else might seem huge to you. It is certainly NOT all small stuff.

Or "What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."

What doesn't kill you can often make you sicker, weaker, or otherwise impaired (hello long-haul COVID). Not everyone comes away stronger from adversity.

How about "Good things take time?" I saw that on a greeting card at Trader Joe's and picked it up because I liked the phrase and the colors, and I thought it related well to something I wanted to teach about speaking.

But you know what? Sometimes good things take practically NO time! I mean, a quick summer salad of ripe tomatoes, fresh burrata cheese, and a drizzle of olive oil takes about five minutes, but it's delicious.

Sometimes a work of art or a book takes years to complete. Other times, the creativity just flows and the work is finished in weeks.

So how long are you willing to wait for that "good thing?" How long is TOO long?

And therein lies one issue with platitudes. Not only are they trite, shallow, and unoriginal, but they're not even true. Or maybe true some of the time but not enough of the time.

On top of that, platitudes can make us feel like we're not doing life right.

Like "I know it's all small stuff, so why can't I move on?"

Or "I know I should live and let live, but how can I turn a blind eye to injustice and oppression?"

Or "I know they say it will all be worth it in the end, but I'm not sure I can go on like this."

Nathan J. Robinson says, "If we accept suffering, for example, as natural and inevitable, then it is easier to be comfortable with the existence of large amounts of it. If it simply 'is what it is,' then getting enraged by it is futile and irrational. But to me, that’s monstrous.

We have to examine things critically rather than passively accepting tautological justifications for them. To do otherwise is to be both morally and intellectually lazy."

Robinson also points out that some platitudes ARE true and also profound, like "Be the change you wish to see in the world." That's a worthy goal, to be sure.

If you're going to be on stage (or use social media as a platform for your cause or message) at least share your own ideas, as much as any of our ideas can be new again.

There are absolutely fresh ways to express timeless ideas that keep you from melting into the masses posting tired cliches.

Do we really need someone to tell us AGAIN: "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care???"

Raise your hand if you roll your eyes 39 times a day at motivational platitudes. 🙋🏻‍♀️🙄

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

It's okay to be "unprofessional"

"Emotion in business is unprofessional."
"Black women's natural hair is unprofessional."
"Tattoos are unprofessional."
"Facial hair is unprofessional."
"Poor grammar/spelling is unprofessional."

And for speakers (I've actually heard these):

"Flat shoes are unprofessional."
"Curly hair is unprofessional."
"Showing bare arms is unprofessional."
"Not wearing makeup is unprofessional."
"Saying 'um' is unprofessional."
"Sitting down while presenting is unprofessional."

Oftentimes, we're told our appearance is unprofessional if we don't meet gender norms or dominant cultural norms.

Other times, not living up to certain educational or other social norms peg us as "unprofessional."

There are definitely things I would call out as unprofessional in business:

👎🏼 Lack of respect for colleagues or customers
👎🏼 Consistently showing up late
👎🏼 Being unresponsive to emails or phone calls
👎🏼 Taking credit for others' work
👎🏼 Lying

But I will fight you over the lists above. 🥊 (If you want to argue with me about spelling and grammar, Google "literacy privilege.")

And I will keep serving my clients with alternating pink and gray hair, five-inch long earrings, visible tattoo, and flat shoes.

Because these things have nothing to do with how well I do my job and everything to do with me being a fulfilled, aligned, and happy human being.

As Madison Butler 🏳️‍🌈🦄 (one of my favorite DEI advocates on LinkedIn) says: "I'm not for everyone." 😉

What have you heard is "unprofessional" in business that you disagree with? Let me know in the comments!

(You can also comment on or like the original LinkedIn post here. It's currently at 404 reactions, 131 comments, 20+ shares, and 14,866 views in the feed.)

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

You will be judged

I haven't been completely honest with you.

I've been posting a lot lately about body positivity and age positivity because so many women hold themselves back from getting in front of an audience because of shame or embarrassment about their bodies and their appearance.

I've been telling you that you have to get out there anyway. And I stand by what I've said! But I've omitted something.

You may be lucky enough not to have any trolls or haters, but the truth is, others will judge you. This is really what lies at the root of avoiding public speaking. Avoiding judgment.

Whether your concern is losing your place, boring the audience, getting tongue-tied, or being unable to answer questions, these all come down to a fear of being judged.

Judged inadequate. Judged incompetent. Judged insufficient. Rejected.

And as much as I remind my clients that audiences want you to succeed, there is a legit reality here:

We're judging and critiquing people all the time.

We walk down the street noting what people are wearing, what they're saying, what they're holding, what they're doing. We notice, we filter, and then we move on.

We do this to determine lots of things, but mostly: Is this person like me? How much is this person LIKE me or DIFFERENT from me?

We're always subconsciously trying to figure out our relationship to others. Should I smile? Should I be threatened? Is he trustworthy? Does she want something from me? Can I connect with him?

We're social animals. Pack animals. Herd animals. We rely on the herd for our survival, so in a sense, we're like any suspicious and wary animal. Yes, we are like dogs sniffing butts.

So you ARE being judged. But not in the way you think. The audience is trying to determine their relationship with you. Can they trust you? Will you listen to them and understand where they're coming from? Is this relationship worth their time and money?

Your job on stage is to connect, relate, serve and deliver.

You don't have to be LIKE your audience to do so. but you do have to honor what the audience needs, wants, and cares about. Your words have to be consistent and aligned with your actions and emotions. You have to be sincere, authentic, and focused on serving the audience.

If you make a mistake, this doesn't damage your relationship with the audience. They won't judge you for forgetting what you were saying or having an equipment snafu. It's not the technicalities that interfere with your relationship.

What DOES damage your relationship with the audience is lack of connection, lack of understanding of who they are and what they want, not putting in the time to provide an excellent experience, and overly anxious concern for your own well-being.

When you get past that, nothing can scare you anymore.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Stop hiding [part 3]

Remember last year, when no one could get their hair cut or colored professionally? There was a huge panic among women...especially around those silver roots😱👩🏼‍🦳.

Remember what happened? Thousands, maybe millions, of women went natural! The Instagram #SilverSisters hashtag BLEW UP, as well as #GrayHairDontCare and #SilverHairDontCare.

Some of my speaker friends thought they would never get another gig if they went silver... but we now see that, while the pandemic definitely made it hard to get work, it was never about the hair.⠀⠀⠀

Other speaker friends freaked out about having headshots that were different from their real hair... so they went to Fiverr and got their headshots doctored to show the new silver hairdos!

One friend mentioned she was ordering purple hair color because "It's not like I'm going to be doing any speaking any time soon!"

I replied "Why not? The world has gone virtual, and so can you!"

Her answer "Maybe after I do the purple—right now I look like Cruella de Ville and I think I would scare small children!" (Which would be a problem if small children attended her presentations.)

Look: If we can't be human and authentic right now, in this time and place, when we've all been forced to peel back the layers of our souls, when can we?

You have ALL the tools you need. People still need your expertise, your brilliance, your unique perspective and voice.

Your hair (your body, your appearance, your age) is not the problem.⠀⠀

👂🏼What's holding you back is between your ears.👂🏼

Let's get back out there and keep on #SpeakingUpForChange!

Reach out for a free consultation: I can help you get your message out to the world!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Stop hiding [part 2]

"Forgive the no-makeup face!"

"Please don’t judge the 'fresh face.'"

"Ignore the no-makeup morning face."

"Forgive the 'I work from home' messy bun and lack of makeup."

Have you apologized for your appearance on social media?

This is a picture I deleted the other day instead of posting. I didn't love how the lighting brought out my rosacea and my blemishes, so took a couple more that were more flattering.

I see multiple women EVERY DAY apologizing for looking like themselves, for showing their real faces. I see even more women who won't even post a picture without makeup or a heavy filter.⠀

You are not your appearance. You are SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!

Check out all those red marks on my face, my wrinkles, my not-plucked eyebrows, my blotchy chest, my chin scar and spider veins from having my chin bashed in in a car accident.

Are you judging me? Do you dislike me? Are you embarrassed or sad for me? If so, buh-bye. I don't need you here. But if you're thinking, "Of course I'm not judging you for looking like a 56-year-old woman who's had a LIFE," then I would like you to apply that to yourself!

As I said in my previous post, I talk to so many women who are afraid of being judged on their appearance, who are hiding, avoiding speaking, avoiding shooting video, avoiding being seen.⠀⠀⠀⠀

And I will say it again: The world still needs to see you, hear your message, learn from you. You have SO MUCH TO GIVE. And we really don't care how you look while you're giving it!

And people who DO care? F#ck 'em.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Stop hiding [part 1]

I consider this to be a horribly unflattering picture of me. Not only is my hair thinning, I have a couple of bald spots that happened spontaneously a couple of years ago that never grew back.

I don't like how my aging body looks a lot of the time. I have a weird hump that's probably from years of bad posture and leaning into a computer screen. I've lost my confident stride since I broke my leg and foot last year, hobbling around like a little old lady.

But guess what: THIS IS HOW I LOOK. When I go out into the world to get my mail, to see friends, to go grocery shopping... this is how I look. Do I stay home all the time so no one will see me? Of course not! This is how I look in the world.

I've heard from SO many women that they don't want to speak in front of an audience, or even shoot video, until they lose weight. Or they don't want to be seen because they have crooked teeth or some other perceived flaw. 

But guess what: THIS IS HOW THE WORLD SEES YOU. Unless you hide in your house 24/7, people have seen you, at your current weight, with your crooked teeth, or thinning hair, or accent, or whatever else you think is "wrong" with you.

It doesn't matter what you look like. The world still needs to see you, hear your message, learn from you. You have so much to give. Get in front of the 🗣👩‍👩‍👧‍👧audience. Shoot the 📱🤳🏼video.

Need some support? Let's talk! I will gently push you out of your comfort zone!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

They don't even notice

Do you see my tattoo? Most people don't.

My first two tattoos were on my back, and after listening to me whine about wanting another one for, um, several years, my husband gave me a gift certificate to a tattoo artist for our 14th anniversary (now 18 years ago). 😂

Putting a tattoo on my wrist felt SUPER RISKY at the time. Unless I want to wear long sleeves (which I hate), it's going to be visible ALL THE TIME. At the time, I wore a watch on that wrist and I thought "Well, the tattoo will peek out from under the watch occasionally. That'll be cute." But during the period of healing, I had to stop wearing the watch. And I never put it back on.

Now here's the funny thing. It felt SO RISKY to have a visible tattoo, and yet NOBODY NOTICED.

I've had friends and colleagues ask me when I got the tattoo, because they've never seen it. At a quick glance, it just appears to be a bracelet. It is literally hiding in plain sight. 

See, I didn't realize that everyone is so busy worrying about their own shit, they don't notice other people's shit. (Not that my tattoo is shit, mind you!)

We're often afraid to put ourselves out into the world because we think people are going to notice all the things we want to hide. So many women I work with don't want to be seen on camera because their roots are showing or their teeth are crooked or they've got speech impediment or they need to lose 10 pounds.

People literally DO NOT NOTICE!

I'll acknowledge that there are haters and there are trolls. Those are sad little meanies who actually DO look for the stuff that's not "perfect." But we don't care about trolls, right? They've got their OWN shit.

Get visible. Share your message. I'm here for you!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Embrace imperfect action

"It's always easier to just say no. It's always easier to say 'We can't do it.' 

Because when you say 'We will try to do it,' now you're changing things, and whenever you change, there's opposition. Every time. 

So it's always easier just to stay status quo. It's always easier not to risk, not to try to raise the bar. Because maybe you can't do it, maybe there will be problems. So it's easier just to say no, it's easier to say 'This is all we can do. It's impossible.' 

That's not what the mayor is doing here. The mayor is stepping up and he's stepping up in a big way."

~ New York Governor Andrew Cuomo

California's governor, Gavin Newsom, was the first to issue stay at home orders when the numbers of positive COVID-19 tests began to rise. Newsom also has partnered with the Federal Emergency Management Agency to launch a one-of-a-kind program that will use local restaurants to prepare and deliver free food for eligible seniors.

Not everyone is happy with Newsom's decisions, like today's decision to shut down state and local beaches in Orange County because of large crowds over the past weekend and high numbers of coronavirus cases and hospitalizations.

But Newsom is not trying to please everyone. He's taking actions, backed by research, that he believes to be the best actions for Californians. Regarding the beaches, he said, "I hope it’s just a very short-term adjustment."

California and other states are modeling—on a daily basis—what imperfect action looks like, in the face of a challenge none of our leaders has experienced before.

As Governor Cuomo said in his address on April 30 (quoted above), "It's always easier not to risk, not to try to raise the bar." He points out that there will be opposition, and that it's easier to do nothing than to possibly create more problems.

What would you rather see in your leaders?

Would you rather have a leader that sits back out of fear of criticism, fear of making mistakes, or fear of not getting reelected?

Or would you rather have a leader who tests solutions to the best of their ability, gathering as much data as possible in order to make informed decisions, and then fixes mistakes as they go along?

Our leaders are under tremendous strain and pressure right now, and I would not want to be in any of their shoes.

The best leaders are striving to serve. They're not focusing on fears of failure, they're focusing on getting the needs of their people met, however they can.

Every leader has a choice right now: Take no action, or take imperfect action. That's it.

Which leader are you? Striving for perfection, focusing on your own potential failures, or striving to serve your people?

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I'd love to help you take imperfect action on your next presentation! If you struggle with inaction due to perfectionist tendencies, always waiting to get ready... to get ready... take a look at my 8 Steps to Ditching Perfection and Creating Connection workshop, coming up on May 7!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Your voice matters

With primary season upon us, it's important to be reminded that our voices—via our votes—really do make a difference. I know... sometimes it doesn't feel that way. Sometimes we feel small, we feel powerless, and we feel disheartened.
But those aren't good enough reasons not to vote!

Now, how about your actual voice? What are you dying to express? What do you have to say that will make a difference in the world if only enough people hear you?

Do you have a cause that you fiercely believe in, that you're passionate about, that needs more visibility and attention?

Does your business do transformational work and you're looking for the right words to express what you do?

Are you tired of playing it safe, holding yourself back, retreating from the limelight, instead of advancing the conversation about your cause and forging ahead?

I have so many colleagues and friends who long to be real, to share their passions and to speak up about their core beliefs and convictions.

But they're afraid.

They're afraid that being real and speaking out about injustice, oppression and discrimination (for example) will hurt their businesses. They fear alienating potential clients and customers. They don't want to hurt their friends and families' feelings with their opinions.

Maybe this sounds like you. Well, hear this: Your voice matters.

There are people who need to hear you. There are people who will be influenced by your ideas, people whose attitudes or behaviors will not change until they hear YOU.

I know it sounds crazy to think that there are people out there who are waiting just for what you have to say, but it's true. How do I know this? Because every single person who chooses to be heard and seen, believed and trusted, has influenced someone. Just look around you.

Who's influenced you? Someone in your personal or professional circle? Someone you admire from afar? Someone you follow on Instagram (she doesn't even have to be an "influencer")?

You've got the secret sauce, so what's it going to take to break down the barriers that you've created for yourself? Because you're the only one standing in the way of YOU.

Yep, sometimes you feel small, you feel powerless, and you feel disheartened.

Those aren't good enough reasons to keep your mouth shut.

Share your story. Write your manifesto. Submit that speaking proposal. Upload that article. Get your thoughts and opinions out there. Yes, on social media, too. (And don't forget to vote!)

Now is the time.

Your audience is waiting.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!