Why you need to take every speaking opportunity

I forgot my stuff.

I had a workshop Friday morning, and I thought I was ready, but I wasn't.

I had finished my slides, I had finished my notes, I had printed my handouts.

I always have my tools in my bag, like my presentation remote, my VGA-to-USB adapter cable, markers and other items I take to my presentations. Except I didn't.

I drove 45 minutes from Ojai to Santa Barbara, feeling relaxed and confident. The topic wasn't new; it's a module that I usually teach as part of my Shake Up Your Speaking retreat. But for the first time, I was offering it as a stand-alone training.

I got to the venue and immediately started setting up. In the process of connecting my computer to the projector, I realized I had left my cable in my other presentation bag. And then I discovered that my remote was missing. I could envision in my mind exactly where it was: sitting on my desk, with a fresh battery installed. I borrowed a remote from my host, then miraculously spotted an HDMI adapter in the projector cart, and continued hooking up my presentation (at least I arrived early enough to troubleshoot).

It was time to begin, after an opening exercise and some announcements. I was introduced to the group and started my presentation. As I started speaking, I came to the slow realization that my notes looked nothing like the slides I was clicking through. I flashed back to my preparation and remembered that I had initially created a completely different presentation days earlier, then had changed my mind and replaced it with the current presentation. Unfortunately, with several files in the same folder, I had printed out the notes for the original presentation, not the one I was currently delivering.

Always a fan of transparency in my presentations, I openly shared with the group that I had brought the wrong notes, and quickly moved them to a side table. Had a brief laugh about my forgetfulness, and continued on.

At this point, having forgotten so many of my tools, and having brought the completely wrong notes, you might think that I would be in a panic and completely discombobulated.

But here's the thing: I've been presenting for 25 years. I remember walking into a classroom in the mid-90s, having completely forgotten my notes, and recreating them from scratch on a blank piece of paper provided by the teacher, just so I'd have something to call on if necessary. That was then; this is now.

I was able to flexibly adapt to my circumstances because I have done literally hundreds of presentations over 25 years.

Did I panic when I realized that I had left my tools in the other bag? Sure! And when I had the realization that my notes were totally wrong and that there was no way to make them work? Oh yes.

But because I have experience, and because I've been through many awkward and uncomfortable situations over the years, I was able to resume my presentation smoothly and make it work. And on top of that, I was able to use my own mishap as a teaching moment for the participants - one of my favorite ways of teaching!

Are you avoiding presenting because you fear a situation like this? Just think how fantastic it'll be, three or 10 or 20 years from now when, because you chose to take these speaking engagements, you are now prepared for ANYTHING.

It's your time now to get speaking engagements on your calendar. It's your time now, to say YES to speaking opportunities. Getting as much experience as possible is long-term protection against the insecurities and discomfort of making mistakes. You learn to deal with the unexpected and the unknown. You become comfortable with uncertainty.

And let me be very clear: Without this kind of experience, you will NOT become comfortable with uncertainty. You will never get used to being caught off guard and you'll never get used to getting out of your comfort zone.

So please. Take every speaking engagement that comes your way. Make engagements happen if they're not just falling into your lap. Find ways to get out there, to get in front of audiences, and to get practice.

Because days like last Friday will happen to you. And you can panic, freak out, and throw off your whole rhythm - taking the audience down with you. Or you can roll with the punches, make a couple of jokes, and keep going, making it all about the audience's experience and learning, and not about your embarrassing blunder.

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Stop trying to be a hero

Photo Credit: JD Hancock via Compfight cc

Yesterday I was working with a client who will be speaking at a memorial service for his recently-deceased father. It will be a grand celebration of life, attended by many friends, family and local dignitaries.

His speech is fairly short, and in preparing to practice, I asked him if his intention was to memorize it, or if he was planning to use notes.

He indicated that he was not interested in trying to memorize the speech: "I'm not trying to be a hero."

Isn't this exactly what trips up so many speakers?

Trying to impress, trying to appear flawless, trying to look and sound like someone else....

Refusing to use notes, refusing to use a microphone, refusing to get help....

Our audience does not expect perfection or superhuman feats.

I don't know how many times I have to say it or how many times a speaker has to see it with her own eyes, but this is not what the audience cares about.

If the audience is engaged with you, intrigued by your message and taken out of their own world for a few minutes, does it really matter if you're using notes? Does it really matter if you stumble over a word or lose your place for a second?

Stop trying to be a hero and start trying to connect. Be real. Be you. Give the audience your love and gratitude.

That's what's impressive.

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Speaking from a script doesn't have to sound scripted

Photo by Paula Bailey

I generally don't recommend using a script or memorizing a presentation, but there are times when you don't have a choice, like when you're handed a script to read that was written by someone else. Or you may choose to use a script when your audience can't see you; for example, when you're giving a webinar.

So for those of you who occasionally use a script, here are some tips for making your presentation sound fresh, not canned.

1. Write like you speak, don't speak like you write.

Writing and speaking are two different languages. Writing is formal, structured, permanent, with longer sentences and paragraphs, and ideas organized through grammar and punctuation to get our meaning across. The reader makes meaning of the words by adding her or his own mental "voice" and imagination to the text on the page. Writing is meant to be read.

Speech is living, changing and happening in the moment, with ideas starting, stopping, shifting and adapting in the space of the conversation or presentation. We employ nonverbal communication to emphasize words, act out scenes, paint pictures and express the emotion behind our ideas. Speech is meant to be heard and seen.

If you speak like you write, you will most likely come across as though you are reading from a tome, and not in a good way. If you write it this way (the way you were taught in high school...no dangling modifiers, split infinitives or sentences beginning with "but" or "and"), and if you are not an actor or professional speaker, you will have to put a lot of time into making your script sound natural. Your script is not meant as a document, but as a living, breathing conversation. Write it that way.

2. Slow down

When reading from a script, the faster you go, the more robotic you sound. Slow down and pay attention to the punctuation, the pauses, the periods, the question marks. Reading slower also lessens the likelihood that your eyes and brain will get ahead of you, causing you to stumble over words. Of course, if you practice reading your script aloud, you can also reduce the likelihood of mishaps, so make sure you practice the script several times aloud.

3. Rewrite where needed

Perhaps the script was written by someone else, and you are required to read it. There's nothing more awkward than reading a script written in someone else's voice (unless you're an actor, in which case that's the definition of your job).

If you are able to take some time with the script, find the awkward phrasing and expressions that don't sound like you and rewrite them in different words that do sound like you.

You may or may not have permission to change the script, but at least make a case for changing expressions that you would never use, like "Terrific!" to expressions you would use, like "Fabulous!" If the writer of the script is from a different part of the country, there may be regional words and phrases that don't sound natural coming from your mouth.

I'm reminded of working with a copywriter from England a while back on a sales page for my website. I changed a lot of his expressions that were not only things I wouldn't say, like "Shy Sally," and "bizarro," but were also clearly British! I rewrote instances of "whilst," "learnt," "click of the fingers" (instead of "snap of the fingers"), and other non-Southern-California-American-English content.

Even small changes that are more natural to your normal way of speaking will make a big impact on how you sound when reading the script.

Remember: A script is not a document. It's meant to be read aloud as speech. As such, it must be written as though you are speaking, not spoken as though it were writing. Got it? Good.

Read my follow-up post here: Another tip for reading from a script.

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Use notes . . . don't use notes . . . again

"I don't like when people hold a piece of paper, especially actors, because we memorize lines for a living. You think you could come up with 20 names."

~ Emmy nominee Neil Patrick Harris on "Ellen," speculating about possibly giving an acceptance speech

While I agree that actors memorize lines for a living and it should be easy to memorize an acceptance speech, in the moment of winning a coveted award it could be just as easy to forget everything you wanted to say. Not everyone thinks quickly on their feet and someone who wants to speak from the heart may end up with a blank stare on his face.

Just a reminder: it's entirely up to you whether you want to use notes or not. Just don't let anyone tell you that using notes is not okay.

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Where do you put your notes?

Although some disagree, I've mentioned here before that there's nothing wrong with using notes during your presentation. The trick is not to use them as a crutch, but to have them close by for reference, and to write them in a bulleted or outline format that is easy to skim.

But where exactly do you put your notes? This, in itself, seems to be a panic-inducing question for some. Holding notes is awkward and restricts body movements, so having a place to put them if you need them takes some consideration. Let's talk about some solutions, and one of my favorite tools.

1. If you've been provided a lectern, it's a super handy place to keep your notes. In fact, I'll keep my water there, my notes, my props, and anything else I might need to access during a presentation. But I move it off to the side and never stand behind it (this is another post entirely, and I can't believe I haven't written about it yet. . .).

2. If there's no lectern, but you have access to a table, then I recommend using a document stand like this one. It's slim and fits in a briefcase or tote bag, or in my case, the file box I use to carry my materials. The clip and line guide are removable, and the page can stand right on the narrow shelf. It's unobtrusive and doesn't block the audience's view like a lectern. Again, have the table off to the side with your notes within viewing range.

3. What if there's no lectern or table? Ideally, you will make these arrangements with the organizer of your talk well before the day of the presentation. This is a critical part of your preparation, making sure that all the equipment you need is available.

However, if something happens and you have no table or lectern, use a chair. I've had to put my document stand on a chair several times, and it actually works fine. This is a good reason to make sure your notes are in a large enough font so that you can see the words from a bit of a distance. A chair is a little lower than what's comfortable for me to read, but it works in a pinch.

Get yourself a document stand and you'll again never have to worry about where to put your notes!

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Using notes pages in PowerPoint

A lot of public speaking experts suggest using notes pages in PowerPoint as an alternative to reading from slides.

In PowerPoint, below each slide in "normal" view, there is a space to write out notes to accompany the slide. Look below the slide where it says, "Click to add notes." The notes can only be seen by the speaker.

While I agree that anything is better than reading directly from the screen, turning your back to the audience and reciting what's right in front of their faces, there's one big problem with using notes pages.

Notes pages keep you tied to the computer.

Standing at the computer pushing buttons and reading from the monitor is not much more engaging than standing behind a lectern or, in fact, reading from the projected slides.

Notes pages can be good for brainstorming the content that will go with each slide during the creation of your slideshow. I just don't recommend reading from them during your presentation.

Walk away from the computer. Use a wireless remote to advance your slides. If you need to use notes, go ahead and put them on paper. In fact, the lectern is a great place to keep your notes, as long as you're not behind it.

I like to use a document holder (something like this) on a table off to the side, so my notes are close by if I need them and already standing up so I don't need to touch them. But they're not distracting to the audience.

And, most importantly, I'm free to move around the room and interact with my audience, remote in hand. Not chained to the computer or my notes pages.

How do you use your notes pages?

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Use notes . . . don't use notes

I've been noticing lately that a number of public speaking tip sheets and blogs advise not to use notes.

I've read that "professionals never use notes" and "when you are truly passionate about the topic that you are speaking about you'll find that the words will just flow out of your mouth and your memory of what you are to discuss will be solid." (That one is absolute poppycock.)

I'm going to disagree (as I often do when someone throws out a blanket statement like "professionals never use notes").

The purpose of notes is not to have your entire presentation written out word-for-word, but to use notes as a trigger to help you remember what comes next.

Reading from pages of dense paragraphs will only make you appear robotic (unless you're a skilled actor who is used to memorizing scripts) and stiff. And if you lose your place, it's going to be awfully hard to find again.

Using note cards also seems hazardous to me - what if they get out of order, or (likely in my case) you drop them? Having to hold note cards in your hands will also inhibit movement and gestures so that, once again, you appear stiff and unnatural.

I recommend to my clients that they use one page for notes, either bullet-pointed or in outline format, whichever works best for their needs. They can even use the one page double-sided. That way, there are no cards to mess up and no long documents to scroll through.

Then I suggest that they put the notes aside. Leave them on a side table or the lectern (which, of course, they are not standing behind), and only refer to them when necessary. It's perfectly natural to walk over to your notes and find your next point, as long as you don't take all day to do it. It's one way of incorporating a nice pause at a transition in your talk.

When rehearsing the presentation, the bullets or outlined points will start to form a chronology in your mind. You start getting into a flow of "what comes next." However, to expect that your passion and enthusiasm during a presentation will magically make that happen is a bit of a stretch, unless you've been doing this particular speech over and over for some time.

Yes, practice is critical, because no matter how helpful your notes are, you do not want to have to refer to them every minute. But having notes on hand does ensure that, no matter what happens - lights go out, microphone fails, sprinklers turn on - you can always find your way back to your message.

I always have notes with me, even if I've been giving the same presentation for a while. In fact, I remember once when I was speaking every day in high schools, I forgot my outline.

So I sat down before class started, wrote out the notes from memory onto a piece of paper, and put it to the side as usual. It was comforting to have the notes there, a security blanket perhaps, even though I had been giving variations of this presentation for years. Clearly, I didn't need the notes, but again, you never know what might happen. Especially in a high school classroom.

Use notes if it's right for you. Don't use notes if you don't want to. It's entirely up to you.

If you choose to use notes, don't read them word-for-word, don't hold them in your hands, and don't use them as a crutch. But you're not a loser if you use them, and yes, professionals do use notes.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!