Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts

Information + inspiration + persuasion lead to action



Inspiration and persuasion require emotional engagement, so why do presenters think they can bombard their audiences with information alone and expect that to lead to action and results?

Throwing statistics, data and hypotheticals at people at the expense of reaching them "in the feels" will not motivate them to take the action you desire.

So, what actions do you want your participants to take at the end of your presentation? 

๐ŸŒ€ donate

๐ŸŒ€ volunteer

๐ŸŒ€ attend events

๐ŸŒ€ make a major gift

๐ŸŒ€ engage in research

๐ŸŒ€ join fundraising efforts

๐ŸŒ€ become mentors/mentees

๐ŸŒ€ share stories about working with you

๐ŸŒ€ refer others to your organization

๐ŸŒ€ contribute to scholarships

๐ŸŒ€ follow on social media

๐ŸŒ€ join your membership

๐ŸŒ€ amplify your message

๐ŸŒ€ join your mailing list

๐ŸŒ€ sponsor programs

๐ŸŒ€ share resources

๐ŸŒ€ advocate

๐ŸŒ€ partner

๐ŸŒ€ vote

These are examples from my nonprofit training clients, depending on the context and the audience they're speaking to.

Information, inspiration, and persuasion are all necessary pieces of the puzzle. 

๐Ÿงฉ People need information, but just *specific* information to help them make a decision. Not ALLLL the information. Just the information that is specific to their particular needs and concerns, and is clear, concise, and relevant.

๐Ÿงฉ They also need inspiration to help them see how actual humans are affected positively by the action you want them to take (or animals or oceans or trees ↬↬↬ and then connect it back to humans). They need inspiration to help them feel connected to your cause and to WANT to help.

๐Ÿงฉ And they need persuasion in order to move past the inspiration and feelings, to take the concrete action step(s) you're requesting. 

And regarding action: You actually need๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผa๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผcall๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผto๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผaction. You need to tell them what you want them to do next.

And it's not "go to our website." ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿป‍♀️

๐ŸŽฏ Give them the exact action they need to take to do the next thing.

๐ŸŽฏ Give them a specific link to donate - and tell them exactly what their donation might cover.

๐ŸŽฏ Give them a specific link or phone number to volunteer with specific opportunities, descriptions and time commitments.

๐ŸŽฏ Give them a specific link or phone number to reach out to their congressperson *with a script* so they know what to say or write.

๐ŸŽฏ Give them a specific date, place and time to show up for the thing you want them to do, and tell them exactly what's required.

Information + inspiration + persuasion: You need all three if you want people to do something and do it NOW.

Need support to put the puzzle pieces together in your next presentation? Contact me!



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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Nonprofit messaging in 2025: Where do we go from here?



Sharing some soundbites and rough thoughts about making nonprofit messaging more clear, relevant and practical, from CalNonprofits annual policy conference.

"'Democracy is at risk.' What does that even mean?" State Senator Anna Caballero 

"Misinformation is free; digging into policy is behind a paywall." Jodi Hicks, Planned Parenthood Affiliates of California

"Don't obey in advance." Anand Giridharadas, journalist and author

The conference was sobering and exhilarating at the same time.

I attended in order to gather intel on how upcoming policy changes will affect my nonprofit training clients, and what support they might need in the next year to continue #SpeakingUpForChange.

How might Californians be affected by the new administration and how will the nonprofit sector adjust and take action?

I wasn't surprised to hear the following takeaways regarding both messaging of candidates and of nonprofits in helping their communities understand the election process and outcomes (from my perspective as a communication professional):

๐Ÿ”ดWe need better messaging that meets people where they are (climate change impacts everything from insurance rates to energy bills - people don't know this)

๐ŸŸฃWe need to speak their language (not give high-level policy reports or make existential claims like "save democracy")

๐ŸŸกWe need to actually ask people what it means for them personally

⚫There is huge disconnect between policy and people's actual lived experience 

๐Ÿ”ตPeople do have an appetite to be better informed: We need to make accurate information more accessible - not hide it behind paywalls 

๐ŸŸ We need to teach people how elections work, to help combat apathy and overwhelm, and get voters out for midterms and off-year elections (remember Schoolhouse Rock?) Check out America the Possible, a new site that promotes civic engagement and understanding how our country works "one simple, tiny MicroByte at a time."

๐ŸŸคCommunities need to invest in nonprofit and local media because people don't trust national outlets

๐ŸŸขNonprofits and media need to show people doing good work in their communities to illuminate a pathway for those who don't know what to do and how to help

⚪Organizations need to improve their communications overall - talk to their communities in a way that they can hear, learn and retain

๐Ÿ”ดCollaboration and communication are essential to fill in gaps of information and services 

Where do we go from here? Now that the problems have been acknowledged, will we take action?

Several of my nonprofit clients use "ambassadors," volunteers who are the clients of the organization, for community outreach and legislative advocacy. More need to be doing this!

P.S. The quote "punk rock time" is from Henry Rollins. "This is not a time to be dismayed, this is punk rock time. This is what Joe Strummer trained you for." ~ Henry Rollins



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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Sometimes you're not meant to be part of the conversation



I was once reading a conversation started by a Black person about anti-Black hate crimes, and I thought it would be helpful to mention antisemitism and the hate crimes that Jews experience.

Why did I think that would be helpful? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป

Maybe I thought Black people needed to know that Jews are also victims of violence? (Nope, they already know that.)

Maybe I thought I was offering solidarity? (I wasn't. I was making it about myself.)

Maybe I thought the conversation needed "different perspectives?" (It didn't. It was a conversation meant to educate and bring awareness about people's lived experiences, not to ask for different opinions.)

This was a huge learning experience for me, realizing that sometimes it's not actually about ME. Sometimes my opinion or perspective is not needed or relevant. ๐Ÿคฏ

As a communication junkie and natural-born opinionated bigmouth, I have spent my life inserting myself into conversations that were not meant for me. I tend to think my opinion is incredibly valuable and worthwhile and that everyone should hear it. ๐Ÿ“ข

Now, if I want to create awareness of antisemitism, I can make my own post. I can share my own resources. I don't need to hijack someone else's post about their lived experience and try to insert my own, when it's not relevant.

I'm unlearning some things. Just because people are talking publicly about something on social media doesn't mean they want to hear "my side of the story."

Sometimes a topic is open for discussion and different perspectives.

Sometimes there's only ONE SIDE and we need to just shut up and listen. ๐Ÿ‘‚๐Ÿผ

To clarify:

Men: learn from the experiences of women.

White women: learn from the experiences of Black women and WOC.

White people: learn from the experiences of Black people and POC.

Straight people: learn from the experiences of LGBTQ+ people.

Cisgender people: learn from the experiences of trans and nonbinary people.

Non-disabled people: learn from the experiences of people with disabilities.

Etc.

Most of us have multiple identities, so listen to the ones you are not a part of!



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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Time, flow, engagement: Top three presentation challenges



You're a business leader in the cutthroat corporate world, and presentations are one of your battlegrounds.

You may or may not love giving presentations, but they're a critical part of getting your message in front of the people who need to hear it.

So what's getting in the way of you delivering your most compelling, concise and powerful message? There are probably more, but let's just focus on these three...

1. No time

You're busier than ever, juggling countless tasks and projects, and barely coming up for air. So when it comes to prepping your next presentation, let's just say you wing it. 

You rush through the process, your ideas are all over the place, and the final result falls flat. 

Deadlines, meetings, and daily chaos leave little space for dedicated preparation, so your presentations never get the time priority they deserve.

2. No flow

Ever sat through a presentation that made you go, "Wait, what just happened?" We've all been there. 

Lack of a clear and logical structure that actually leads your audience to a desired result is one of the biggest issues I see. Especially when your main presentation prep involves opening a PowerPoint and typing in a bunch of bullets... (yes, I'm looking at you). 

Without a clear navigational flow, the audience is left scratching their heads, missing out your core points. It's like trying to follow a treasure map without any landmarks - a confusing journey that goes in circles.

3. No engagement

Effective presentations - the ones that actually get results - are all about engaging and connecting with your audience on a human level, but honestly, this is one of the biggest struggles for business presenters.

You fill your presentations with jargon-filled monologues, acronyms, charts, graphs and data that leave your participants nodding off. Too much information crammed into too little time can turn a potentially amazing presentation into a snoozefest.

When you spend so much of your time trying to impress your attendees, you don't connect, they don't relate, and you've just wasted a bunch of your - and their - time. Engagement is required to move people into action.

How to get on top of these three issues without spending a ton of time or money?

Brace yourselves, my friend: the Presentation Prep Reset Package is here to get you EXCITED about your next presentation in a compact format that is easy and fast!

With its step-by-step guidance and 12 powerful prompts, you can kiss chaos goodbye and say hello to presentations that flow and connect.

The Presentation Prep Reset Package puts the spotlight on clarity, simplicity, and audience-centered design. It facilitates making the most of your time and creating presentations that actually make an impact.

Tackle your time troubles, messy structure, and engagement issues with this easy and quick workbook, video guide and written transcript (for those who hate taking the time to watch videos, like me!).

Check it out here: https://coachlisab.com/prep


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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

DMV Part 2: Empathy goes a long way



I needed to get a question answered by the DMV and was dreading the phone call, predicting that the person would be curt, “by the book,” or just unhelpful.

I was SO mistaken.

The lovely man I spoke to didn't have an easy answer for me, so he went off the line to speak to his supervisor. He came back and they had discussed and come to a conclusion that was thoughtful, understanding and reasonable.

And then we chatted for a bit about my volunteer work at the Twice-Sold Tales library bookstore in Ojai (where I was when I took the callback) and how people don’t seem to read books as much as they used to. He asked if there was just one, and I laughed. We're a tiny town with three tiny libraries and one tiny used bookstore that supports them all. I invited him to come visit if he's ever in Ojai!

Once again I was caught off guard by my own perceptions of what to expect from the DMV (see part 1 here).

And I was reminded just how far a little empathy can go when having potentially uncomfortable conversations, especially when you know the person is anxious or apprehensive about speaking to you.

I can lack empathy at times. I can be pretty judgy. So these little reminders are so helpful for me!

Don't forget to apply empathy during your presentations. Putting yourself in your attendees' shoes, when discussing a difficult topic will make a huge difference in how they retain and apply your message!



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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Do not assume your message makes sense



Here at the NAACP, we've been busy ramping up our vital GOTV efforts. This week is our last EOQ deadline before election day, and our last chance to fuel our voter mobilization operations before our volunteers are out in full swing.
Do ๐ŸšซNOT๐Ÿšซ assume that your message makes sense.

This fundraising email I received makes a couple of assumptions:

1️⃣ I know what GOTV and EOQ mean. And no, these acronyms were not explained elsewhere in the email.

2️⃣ I've read previous emails which might clarify these acronyms, so it's not necessary to do it this time.

I cannot emphasize enough that it is ALWAYS your responsibility—as a communicator, writer, marketer, content creator or presenter—to make your message as clear and simple as possible for your audience. Every time.

If they don't get it, it's not their fault.

๐Ÿ‘‰๐ŸผReminder: Adults have big fragile egos.

People often won't raise their hand in your presentation to ask you to explain something, because they don't want to look foolish.

As unfortunate as that is, YOU (the communicator) must understand that if you don't make things clear, and your audience doesn't ask (or Google), you've lost them.

Funny story: A friend of mine contacted me a few years ago, perplexed about an email she had received from her local Toastmasters club. She'd been thinking of joining and had contacted a club with questions.

"...I wrote to them asking what the requirements are, and the guy wrote back that it's open to Toastmasters who've earned a CC. Really helpful. Not. What's a CC? Does it mean anything to you?"

When I explained the acronym, she wrote back:

"How 'competent' is a 'communicator' who answers a query from an interested newbie with an abbreviation that means nothing to them (me) without explaining it in English?"

How competent, indeed?

I'm picking on NAACP and Toastmasters here, but everyone is doing this (ESPECIALLY nonprofits), assuming your audience understands your words, acronyms, jargon and lingo.

They don't.

And they feel stupid asking.

So just๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผkeep๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผit๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผsimple๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ.

(Also... acronyms, jargon and lingo are BORING. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป)



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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Stop thinking you have to know everything



Things no one expects you to know (without at least some research):

1. How to pronounce "floccinaucinihilipilification"
2. How to make Kung Pao chicken
3. Every word in the Constitution of the United States
4. What's causing that pain in your lower left abdomen
5. How to fix your own dryer

So why is there so much discomfort around not knowing "business things?"

As an entrepreneur, it can feel like you have to know everything about everything.

But you don't have to become an expert in every aspect of your business.

If your business isn't marketing, you'll have to learn a few things about marketing (or hire someone to do it for you).

If your business isn't bookkeeping, you'll have to learn a few things about bookkeeping (or hire someone to do it for you).

If your business isn't giving presentations, you'll have to learn a few things about effective public speaking.

Except this isn't something you can pay someone else to do!

If you're an entrepreneur, your big why, your one-of-a-kind skills and talents, your area of expertise... you alone can bring that to the world.

You don't have to become a speaking expert to build visibility, awareness, networks, reputation, and lead your people competently and capably.

But speaking is a unique skill that you should be cultivating if you're the face of your organization.

If you don't know how to do it well, that's okay.

If you have some experience, but you're not getting the results you want, that's okay!

If you've been doing it for a long time, but haven't leveled up your skills, that's okay!

Nobody expects you to be an expert.

At the same time...

Your audiences, employees, volunteers, board, stakeholders, and peers do expect a certain level of proficiency, and a level of conscientiousness, effort and thoughtfulness.

And they do expect a level of connection and engagement that's not just lecturing, reading from bullet points, or throwing together a few points at the last minute.

Stop thinking you have to know everything.

Do own and embrace your responsibility to be an effective communicator for understanding, influence, inspiration and relationship-building, and for expressing purpose, vision, values and goals.



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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Why you should do podcast interviews... and it's not why you think



I just had the most amazing conversation with Karen LaMarsh for her Real Life Startup podcast, and it made me realize why I enjoy being interviewed so much.

Sure, we all want to build our credibility and visibility through sharing our ideas and intellectual property via speaking and interviews.

But here's the REAL reason you should be doing podcasts (and speaking, and creating video, and writing...): Every time you open your mouth to talk about your ideas, they get better.

Especially when you have a host asking you questions and restating your ideas. At least three times today during my conversation with Karen, I had an aha moment about my own message and my own marketing.

She rephrased things I said and reiterated my ideas in a way that helped me gain even deeper insight into what I want my message to be!

When we explain, interpret and clarify our ideas via speaking or writing, our ideas often become more clear to ourselves.

Maybe you'll get more clients and customers if you get interviewed on podcasts or speak in front of an audience. But also, maybe you'll get more clarity on your message, continuing to improve and refine it as you go! 



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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Don't sweat the platitudes... and they're all platitudes



I need to have a chat with you about platitudes.

"Don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff."

Who decides what's small in YOUR life? What might seem small to someone else might seem huge to you. It is certainly NOT all small stuff.

Or "What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."

What doesn't kill you can often make you sicker, weaker, or otherwise impaired (hello long-haul COVID). Not everyone comes away stronger from adversity.

How about "Good things take time?" I saw that on a greeting card at Trader Joe's and picked it up because I liked the phrase and the colors, and I thought it related well to something I wanted to teach about speaking.

But you know what? Sometimes good things take practically NO time! I mean, a quick summer salad of ripe tomatoes, fresh burrata cheese, and a drizzle of olive oil takes about five minutes, but it's delicious.

Sometimes a work of art or a book takes years to complete. Other times, the creativity just flows and the work is finished in weeks.

So how long are you willing to wait for that "good thing?" How long is TOO long?

And therein lies one issue with platitudes. Not only are they trite, shallow, and unoriginal, but they're not even true. Or maybe true some of the time but not enough of the time.

On top of that, platitudes can make us feel like we're not doing life right.

Like "I know it's all small stuff, so why can't I move on?"

Or "I know I should live and let live, but how can I turn a blind eye to injustice and oppression?"

Or "I know they say it will all be worth it in the end, but I'm not sure I can go on like this."

Nathan J. Robinson says, "If we accept suffering, for example, as natural and inevitable, then it is easier to be comfortable with the existence of large amounts of it. If it simply 'is what it is,' then getting enraged by it is futile and irrational. But to me, that’s monstrous.

We have to examine things critically rather than passively accepting tautological justifications for them. To do otherwise is to be both morally and intellectually lazy."

Robinson also points out that some platitudes ARE true and also profound, like "Be the change you wish to see in the world." That's a worthy goal, to be sure.

If you're going to be on stage (or use social media as a platform for your cause or message) at least share your own ideas, as much as any of our ideas can be new again.

There are absolutely fresh ways to express timeless ideas that keep you from melting into the masses posting tired cliches.

Do we really need someone to tell us AGAIN: "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care???"

Raise your hand if you roll your eyes 39 times a day at motivational platitudes. ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿ™„



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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

What if you lost your words?



Remember how boring "vocab" was when we were in school? Learning the meanings of endless words that we probably would never use? 

I don't think of vocabulary very often, but since my dad had a stroke on Tuesday, it's been top of mind. He briefly lost his ability to communicate, and even hours later, was still transposing words and unable to capture the words he wanted to say.

My dad is a COMMUNICATOR, in all caps! He's always loved words and language, and when I was growing up, "Get out the dictionary" was our most-repeated command! I get my love of language and words from my dad, most definitely. ๐Ÿ“š

He reminded me the other day, from his hospital bed, of the enormous vocabulary I had as a child. He said, "Remember when they tested your vocabulary in elementary school? Remember how many words you knew?" I don't remember the number, but apparently it was impressive.

He reflected on how it's better to start out with a huge vocabulary, then if you have a stroke and lose some of your words, you'll still have plenty to work with! Haha - My dad and I are both optimists. We're all about the silver lining. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป‍♀️๐ŸŒฅ

How is vocabulary relevant for you as a speaker and communicator?

First of all, don't go out and start using a bunch of big fancy words in your presentations. 

๐ŸšซNever use language to distance yourself from your audience.๐Ÿšซ

But consider how you use vocabulary to express yourself in a way that's aligned with your personality, your speaking style and your intellectual property. 

Are you still learning new ways of expressing yourself? Are you still building your vocabulary?

My favorite vocab-builder is the old-timey thesaurus (and I still love the dictionary), but I don't use it to find words or expressions that are not authentic to me. I use the thesaurus to find words that fit my communication style, but ones I haven't remembered or that express my idea better than the original word on my mind.

Of course, reading is always a great way of improving vocabulary, as well as actually using new words in context in conversation.

I know that the older I get, the more I lose vocabulary. I forget words I once knew because I'm not using them regularly or I haven't come across them in my reading.

I'd love to know if you are a ๐Ÿค“word nerd๐Ÿค“ or a ๐Ÿ’language lover!๐Ÿ’ Comment below. ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ

And my dad is doing great. He had a second stroke in the hospital, but sounds like his old self and will hopefully be going home tomorrow. We're having long conversations at his bedside, which I hope are helping his brain retain his words!



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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Can your audience identify themselves?



I had a revelation a couple of years ago. The people I was trying to reach with my public speaking coaching services didn't know they were speakers! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Turns out that a lot of people who give presentations to promote their work and grow their businesses don't see themselves as speakers. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคฏ

Sure, they record online courses, webinars and masterclasses, and shoot FB lives, TikToks, Reels, and YouTube videos, and get in front of groups to give various types and lengths of presentations... but the word "speaker" doesn't resonate with them!

So over time, I reframed the people I work with as business leaders, nonprofit leaders, and entrepreneurs—who use speaking to build visibility, credibility, and awareness for their work. And THAT makes sense to my clients. They now see themselves in my marketing and on my website.

Language is tricky, whether you're writing or speaking. You may not be reaching the people you want to reach with your message, because your message fits your understanding of what you do, but not your potential clients' understanding of who they are.

If you want to deliver a more meaningful and memorable message to your audiences—however you choose to speak it—reach out and let's schedule a time to chat about your needs!

And yes, I used to sell these mugs and magnets from a CafePress store years ago. You like? ๐Ÿ˜⠀⠀

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Is busyness a competition?



People are busy. People are overwhelmed. People have too much on their plates. And yet, the complaint is often laced with pride.

We can't wait to tell everyone how busy we are. "How are you?" "SO busy!"

Perhaps busyness triggers our competitive nature. At least, I think it triggered mine.

Back in the late 90s, after having started and run my nonprofit organization for several years while also working a full-time job, I started noticing a tendency to brag about my busyness. The busier I appeared and the more meetings and events I organized and attended, the more important I felt.

Perhaps it made me feel needed and wanted in the world. If I was busy, it was because I was indispensable. Right?

But I got tired of the constant pressure. I was exhausted. Sure, being busy made me feel successful, but why did I require this particular definition of success? And why did I care so much if other people perceived me as busy?

So I made a conscious effort to stop this endless competition.

When I started to let things go and allowed myself to say no to being overwhelmed and taking on too much, I felt so much healthier and happier. I could tackle the things that were most important to me, and let the rest go.

The first time I read about busyness as a "badge of honor" in 2006, I was so relieved to discover I wasn't the only one who felt this way. The blog post was written by Adultitis-fighter Jason Kotecki, probably very close to the beginning of Kim and Jason's Escape Adulthood journey!

I now find it a relief not to be competing with everyone else for "who's the busiest." And I can really get down to the business of my business and my life. (Okay, I confess. Sometimes I compete at the other end of the spectrum: who sleeps the latest?)

I also sometimes still find it hard not to answer "Busy" when people ask "How are you?" Because isn't that what everyone says?

The latest busyness competition on social media is around how many Zoom meetings we're having in a day, thanks to COVID-19. (However, this pride in busyness pre-dates COVID-19 and will continue after it's gone.)

I've been doing my work virtually for over a decade. It's normal for me to have several virtual meetings in a day with clients and colleagues. But do I want to have eight meetings, just because I can, just because I don't have to drive somewhere? Nope.

We all know this is going on, and we're all exhausted by it. We do have a choice (at least my fellow entrepreneurs who are in charge of our own calendars). So why don't we stop?

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Don't wait for someone else to speak up



Once upon a time, I was getting on the freeway at an onramp near my home, and for the nth time, was nearly sideswiped by a car entering in the lane next to me. This onramp has two left turn lanes to enter the freeway, but once you begin the turn, the lane markings disappear.

If someone doesn't realize there are two lanes, it's very easy for them to drift from the left into the right lane. Accident waiting to happen.

So I contacted CalTrans on their website and shared my concern (they have a form just for these kinds of suggestions), and I received an auto-reply that my concern would be investigated. Exciting! But would it, really?

Less than a month later, I was getting on the freeway at this onramp, and suddenly realized that the entrance lanes were now demarcated with raised pavement markers!

(Here's a little factoid for you: These markers are called Botts' Dots.)

This was a small win, personally, but it made a big impact on all the drivers entering the freeway on that very busy street.

And I had had little faith that my concern would actually be heard and acted upon.

What are you longing to speak up about? What issue do you care deeply about, but feel powerless or afraid to address?

And what's holding you back?

  • Discomfort around being seen and heard? 
  • Fear of reprisal? 
  • Weariness from being ignored in the past? 
  • Apprehension about shocking people?
  • Belief that nothing will happen? 
  • Confusion about what's the next right action to take?

I hear you and I see you!

There are as many reasons NOT to speak up as there are to speak up.

Like you, I've suffered the emotional consequence of speaking up and being ignored or chastised. I've also experienced the incredible reward of speaking up and seeing change happen.

It's easy to sit back and wait for someone else to complain.

Or to share a post on Facebook and think we've done our civic duty to speak out on an issue (it's a start).

But someone else won't complain. Or not enough people will speak up. Or a lot of people will speak up, but not effectively enough to get other people to take action.

Sometimes we just don't care enough to speak up until we personally have been affected by an issue (like my unsafe neighborhood onramp). That's okay! Pick your battles. You can't fix everything, but you can take baby steps toward effecting change. You just have to participate in the conversation.

And... this is important... you have to be willing to take action and share action steps with others. Because the biggest frustration when we want change is not knowing HOW to take action. This is what knocks back the best of us from speaking out when we want to!

Want to learn how to effectively speak up in just a few easy steps?

Join my #SpeakingUpForChange 5-day Challenge here! We start Monday, July 22.

Have you stepped out of your comfort zone and spoken up lately?

Share it, use the hashtag #speakingupforchange, and tag me!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

10 reasons to join the Presenting for Humans Success Circle



Are you thinking about joining the Presenting for Humans Success Circle, but not sure if it's right for you?

Perhaps I can help you decide with these points about the benefits of the program to you!

1. Author-led discussion: Most book clubs and study groups are not led by the author, the person who knows more than anyone else about the process for the book, the premise of the book, the core message and teachings, and the whys, whats and hows of the book. PFH Success Circle has me, the author, leading discussion, answering questions, and coaching you along the way!

2. Practical outcomes: This is a program to help you put the concepts in the book into practice. Sure, you could read the book on your own, but we all know how much better we are at implementing (and avoiding procrastination) when we have accountability partners! Your goals will include finishing the week's reading assignment before our live call, and coming ready to review what you read and to compare notes with your fellow participants.

3. Making connections with your fellow program members: A shared love of reading is already a great connection point among you, but your shared interest in speaking adds another level of depth to your connections. It's a great online networking opportunity (when you join the Facebook group, especially) for meeting like-minded individuals—no matter where you live in the world.

4. The difference between reading a book alone and reading as a group is huge: Reading a book and discussing it as a group opens your mind to ideas you might not have considered, conclusions you might not have come to, and perspectives you might not have gained. Reading and discussing as a group supercharges your learning and absorption of concepts and takes you in entirely new directions.

5. Practice and grow your communication skills: Reading a book about public
speaking is one thing, but actually formulating ideas and sharing them with the group, defending your opinions, speaking up for your beliefs, and persuading others to see your perspective—tactfully and respectfully—are all valuable opportunities to enhance your own communication skills as well as to help you retain information better and reinforce your learning.

6. It's virtual: I get that the wine, snacks and personal interaction are big draws for in-person book clubs. But not everyone has the time (or calorie allowance) for that. You can stay at your desk or (if you're like me) on the couch in your pajamas. There's no judgement! Join the meeting from wherever you are, and even if you can't join live, it will be recorded so you won't miss a thing. You can leave your comments in the Facebook group at any time—whether you're a night owl or an early bird, whether you're in Australia or Africa. (Feel free to bring your own wine...)

7. And because it's virtual, you choose your own method of interaction: You can exclusively stick to the Facebook group if you prefer to write out your thoughts. You can come to the live Zoom calls, participate with the other members and get your questions answered on the spot by moi. You can shoot video sharing your comments and upload to Facebook. Or you can do any combination of these, or whatever else you think of! (Want to make a pic collage or Pinterest board with public speaking memes? Go ahead!)

8. You will learn to be a better speaker: There's just one book and one topic here. If you want to learn to be a better speaker, you've come to the right place. We will be 100% laser-focused on speaking. Your questions about speaking will be answered, your knowledge will grow, your opportunities to improve will expand. Period.

9. It's affordable: If private coaching isn’t an option for you right now, the PFH Success Circle is the next best thing with laser coaching and a private Facebook group—where I'm very active—and the only way to work with me for under $800.

10. It's a short time commitment: The program starts in May and ends in June. There are five weekly calls (but if you can't make it live, they'll be recorded). The reading is light: two chapters a week. We'll accomplish a lot in this short time frame, but it's not going to take months of your life to complete or hours a week of homework.

Each week, participants will read assigned chapters, do personal exploration and reflection, and return to the group for follow-up, discussion, and laser coaching on the concepts learned.

PFH Success Circle includes:

  • A signed hard copy of the book (if you register by 4:00 p.m. PDT on Monday, May 7!)
  • Five live coaching calls focused on action-taking and implementation of the main principles in the book
  • Worksheets and handouts to help you integrate the ideas we’re discussing
  • Recordings of all the calls
  • A private Facebook group for discussion, support, encouragement and resources

Just think: You can start and finish a book during this five week program! You can gain some new perspective on public speaking. You can have fun and meet new friends.

The program starts Thursday, May 10. Register here.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

You don't need a stage to need stage presence



I was recently contacted by a woman who manages a small team of young, inexperienced salespeople. She was primarily concerned with their lack of self-awareness; their behaviors in front of clients and prospects were less-than-stellar.

One person bites their nails in meetings. Another person avoids eye contact. Another is a pen-clicker. And yet another makes elaborate faces when trying to conceal a yawn.

Most of us have habits we're not aware of. That's what makes them habits; the fact that we repeat them and yet are not aware of them!

And taken individually, on occasion, in casual circumstances, these kinds of habits are normal and human. But when you put a group of people together, all of whom are displaying distracting behavior in a professional setting, it can become quite noticeable and can take attention away from where it belongs: on the business at hand.

We tend to talk about stage presence as the way we command a room when we're on a stage or in front of an audience. Stage presence combines charisma, confidence and the ability to captivate your audience. But it's not just for the stage. Or perhaps I should say, "You're always on stage."

Note that the word "presence" is part of "stage presence." Presence means that you are actively and emotionally engaged with the person or people you're talking or meeting with. Presence means you're not in your head, thinking about what's for dinner, or off in la-la land.

You're making eye contact. Your body language shows engagement and connection through nodding, smiling, leaning forward or whatever is your personal style of demonstrating connection.

Stage presence is required ANY time you're part of a meeting or discussion, even when you're not the facilitator. 

Imagine you're one of this small team mentioned above, and you're in a meeting with a prospective client. Your boss is negotiating a contract and the discussion is getting into the details of the scope of the project and the deliverables. But you're mentally in another place, unaware of what's happening in the room - or even with your own body. You're clicking your pen, fidgeting in your chair, and wondering what time the game starts after work.

Your boss turns to you, expecting you to fill in some details that are the purview of your department and expertise. But your brain is only half-focused and you're caught off guard. Of course, you answer the question, but you fumble for the right words and you've missed some of the key issues in the discussion, so you have to ask for clarification. Your boss is frustrated as she repeats what's already been covered.

Now imagine how this conversation would have gone if you were present. You would be absorbed in the conversation, your mind already putting together the pieces that you're responsible for. When it's time for you to contribute to the conversation, you're ready. You're on fire, in fact, because you know exactly what's needed from you, and you deliver. Your boss seamlessly picks up where she left off and the negotiation continues. There's a big "thank you" waiting at the end of the meeting, for your timely and thoughtful contribution.

This is the "presence" part of "stage presence," but the "stage" piece applies here as well. When you're in a meeting, you are absolutely on stage. The prospect or client is paying attention. Are you respectful? Are you pleasant? Are you helpful? Are you part of the collaboration? Are you bringing a positive energy to the room? Are you sitting upright, leaning in, part of the team?

Or are you disengaged, restless, bored, shifty, slouchy, looking at your hands or gazing out the window?

Surprise! You're not invisible! Your behavior and demeanor is noticed and noted. It may not make or break the sale, but you sure don't impress anyone as a team player. And you certainly don't inspire your boss to give you more responsibility or promote you.

Stage presence is required whether or not you're on stage, whether you're speaking to one person, five people or 50 people, whether you're running the meeting or in the background. We see you. We observe you. We remember you.

You can be remembered for being that fidgety guy with the pen or you can be remembered for being the guy with the great ideas. It's up to you!

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Communication requires presence: Why I won't have a meeting with you while driving



For those of you who are of the opinion that talking on the phone while driving (sometimes with yelling or fighting kids in the back seat) makes more effective or productive use of your time, I doubt you'll change your habits after this one post.

But let me share why you'll rarely have a conversation with me while I'm driving—especially a business meeting.

Have you ever been in a meeting listening to someone giving a report, or at home listening to your partner share about their day, and suddenly five minutes have passed and you have no idea what the other person has said? Your mind wandered... to what's for dinner, to the dry cleaning you need to pick up before the shop closes, to that ice cream in the freezer that's calling your name.

Now recall past driving trips. Have you ever been going somewhere, and maybe because it's a regular route that you drive often or every day, you suddenly arrive at your destination completely unaware of what happened along the way? Have you ever realized, a moment after the fact, that you've run a stop sign or didn't see a car next to you as you changed lanes?

Clearly, we are not always mentally present. It's easy to get drawn into what's going on in our heads and miss what's going on around us, even when sitting and facing another person in conversation (or an audience if you're a speaker).

When we're not present, we aren't focused. We may listen, but we don't hear. We see, but don't pay attention. We're distracted. Life passes us by.

According to the The National Transportation Safety Board, "Nearly 10 percent of traffic deaths involve distracted drivers. That’s about 4,000 deaths that are completely preventable, that never have to happen."

And according to the DMV, the reason texting and driving is so dangerous is that it incorporates all aspects of distracted driving:
"Visual: Takes your eyes off the road.
Manual: Takes your hands off the steering wheel.
Cognitive: Takes your focus away from safe driving."
This is not an article about safe driving. But what the research points out is that talking on the phone (and eating, putting on makeup, dealing with kids in the back seat) is enough of a distraction to cause many car accidents each year. If talking on the phone is a distraction from safe driving, is it safe to say that driving is also a distraction from communication? We think we can do both, but studies show that we can't. We all think we're good at multitasking, but research shows that this is a myth. According to Psychology Today:
"Much recent neuroscience research tells us that the brain doesn’t really do tasks simultaneously, as we thought (hoped) it might. In fact, we just switch tasks quickly. Each time we move from hearing music to writing a text or talking to someone, there is a stop/start process that goes on in the brain.
That start/stop/start process is rough on us: rather than saving time, it costs time (even very small micro seconds), it’s less efficient, we make more mistakes, and over time it can be energy sapping."
(By the way, you may wonder if talking to passengers in your car is as risky as talking on the phone. This infographic explains why it's not.)

Back to the value of presence to communication:

One of the most basic things I work on with my clients is being present with their audiences. If a speaker is not present with their audience, meaning focused, in the moment, paying attention to what's happening in the room, noticing the energy, etc., it means they are not connecting. If a speaker is not connecting emotionally with their audience, then they are creating a distance or a barrier, which leads to less engagement and a sense that the speaker is not accessible or approachable.
“When the mind is not present, we look and do not see; we hear and do not understand; we eat and do not know the taste of what we eat.” ~ Confucius, The Great Learning
The reason I don't have business meetings while driving is that I know I can't focus on either one properly. If I focus on driving, I can't focus on the conversation. If I focus on the conversation, I'm not focused on driving. How will I remember what we spoke about if I can barely focus on the conversation in the first place?

To me, any conversation while driving is a waste of time and energy, because I am not present with the other person. It's hard enough for me to be present during a conversation with my husband while I'm sitting two feet away from him on the couch. How present can I be with a person whose face I can't see, while I'm on the phone, while I'm driving, and while I'm trying not to run over a pedestrian or run a red light? Not to mention the three times the signal drops while going over a mountain or through a tunnel, requiring us to re-start the call several times.

You may think you're present. You may think you're good at multitasking. Or maybe you just don't think you have any other time in the day to make this call. I'm very aware of my cognitive limitations while trying to multitask, so I won't have a meeting with you while I'm driving, and I prefer not to attempt to have a meeting with you while you're driving.

I'm not as good at being present as I would like to be, but having a conversation in the car is just flat-out saying, "I don't really care about being present for you," and I'd like to at least try harder than that.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

You have a platform, but are you making it count?




Whenever a celebrity—whether actor, singer, athlete or other entertainer—takes the opportunity at an awards ceremony or other public event to speak out about a political issue, certain segments of the public immediately begin scolding and lashing out.

"It's inappropriate!" they say. "Celebrities should keep their opinions to themselves!" "We pay you to act and entertain us!"

So let me ask you this: If you had a platform where you could reach hundreds or thousands or millions of people all at once—and you had something really important to say, would you use it?

You don't think of yourself as Meryl Streep at the Golden Globes—and you're not—but I guarantee that many of you are using the platforms you DO have every day.

Are you on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Google+ or Tumblr? Do you ever post your opinions about things (anything: food, people, music, politics, organizations, cars, football teams, Mac vs. PC...) on any of these social media channels?

Do you ever regale your friends with your ideas while you're sitting around having a drink? Do you share your ideas on a large or small scale at work, at the place you volunteer, in your committee meetings, at the dinner table? Yeah, you're using your platform.

You think it's different, that Meryl Streep went to the Golden Globes to win an award, so it's not appropriate. But you—you're just doing your thing, hanging out in your "virtual living room" on Facebook or Twitter, and everyone should expect you to say what's on your mind, right?

I just randomly scrolled through my Twitter stream to see what people were saying. Here are some of the opinions I encountered:

"Why do some people use the word feminist as an insult? A feminist is simply someone who believes that women should have equal rights to men."

"We need a lot more love songs."

"Vaccine-pushers calling for even more injections in children is chemical violence against them."

"If you're not pissing off someone you're not doing your job."

"Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Start #Blogging Immediately"

"Need an influx of cash? Borrow from a friend or family member."

I may or may not agree with these, but the fact remains that these people are using their platforms, in this case Twitter, to share their thoughts, ideas, and beliefs.

See, we do this every day. All day. We share our opinions with the world.

Everything I say on Twitter has a chance of being seen by my 7,840 followers, plus others who don't know me who are scrolling through. Everything I say on Facebook has a chance of being seen by my 1,879 friends, plus their friends, plus others (my posts are public).

Is everything I say momentous? Nope. Is everything I say even worth your taking the time to read? Nope. Nevertheless, it's my opinion and I choose to share it, for various reasons, because I want to. Just like you do.

Your platform may be bigger than mine or smaller than mine. You may be standing in front of audiences, shooting videos, recording Facebook Live streams, leading webinars, facilitating small discussion groups or retreats. And your platform can always be bigger and more widespread, if you want it to be.

You have a platform. Don't kid yourself that you don't. Yours isn't as big as Meryl's, but you use it when you have the chance.

So knowing that you have a platform, that you can grow a platform, and that more people could be hearing what you have to say, how are you going to make the choice to be conscious about your platform?

Are you going to choose to use the platform you have wisely, thoughtfully and in an organized fashion to share your message with those who most need to hear it?

Here's a chance to make that leap from wanting to express your ideas better, more articulately, concisely and powerfully, to actually doing it, and using your platform strategically.

Join me March 20-22 in Santa Barbara, California for my 2 1/2-day retreat "Shake Up Your Speaking: Get Real... Get Results."

Stop fantasizing about having a platform for your ideas. Stop using the platforms you have in a slipshod or haphazard way. Get organized. Get clear. Be compelling.

You may not have millions to share your ideas with, but you do have an audience. Make your ideas stand out. See you in March!

Photo credit: MTSOfan The Woman With the Bull Horn via photopin (license)

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Do your audience's filters override your message?




It's a story about a fig. It's a very simple story. This fig is HUGE.

I posted this picture on Facebook of the fig filling the palm of my hand. I thought the fig would speak for itself. But I was wrong.

I started getting comments like, "Can't get them here!" and "My mom loved figs, she had a fig tree." Someone said, "I used to love figs, still love fig Newtons cookies. My grandmother had a fig tree." And "Yum!!! Really miss that wonderful Cali produce!!!!"

And not one person mentioned the size of the fig.

Okay, if I had known this was going to turn out to be such an interesting experiment, I wouldn't have captioned the picture "Anyone want a fig?" I would have left it blank. But I didn't know it was going to be such a great experiment - and a perfect analogy for public speaking.

Here's the thing: Your audience is ALWAYS going to interpret your stories and your message through their own filters, their own background, and their own lifetime of knowledge and experience. When I see a meatloaf, I can't help but think about the meatloaves my mom used to make (with whole hard-boiled eggs inside!), and when someone sees a fig, they can't help but think of their relationship to figs.

If my message is clear - "Can you believe the size of this fig?" - then I'm more likely to get responses to the size of the fig. People will still filter the picture and the message through their own experiences, but they will also understand that my message is "Hey, this fig is huge!" And then their responses will be more like "I've never seen a fig that big," or "Is that closer to an apple or a peach in size?" Even those whose filters bring up grandma's fig tree might say, "My grandma had a fig tree, but I never saw one this big." The responses will now be in the same context as my message was intended.

But if my message is NOT clear, then they will come up with their own messages and stories about the fig, and those messages and stories will have nothing to do with what I intended.

This is what happens in your presentations when you're not crystal clear on your core message, your key points, how your examples and stories tie into your message, what's relevant to your audience, and what results you're hoping to achieve.

Your audience is already interpreting your message through their multiple filters. Being vague and scattered only makes it easier for them to get lost in their own heads rather than taking away the message you intend for them.

Now how about the size of that fig?

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Create a safe space for group interaction



The other day, I was talking to a client about some problems she had experienced during a presentation. She had encountered a group who was resistant to some of her ideas and essentially put up a roadblock to any further discussion. She didn't realize her topic was going to be so divisive and contentious and hadn't planned for how to deal with the few troublemakers who dominated the meeting. Afterward, she discovered that quite a few people in the room had wanted to speak up, but were not comfortable doing so.

Now for some of you who do trainings like this on a regular basis, where your topic might be controversial or uncomfortable to the group, you probably have some practices in place to prepare for and deal with dissent. But for those of you who are caught off guard by a difficult audience, or have a sneaking suspicion that you might encounter some resistance from your audience, there are a few things you can do to increase the group's trust and receptivity to your ideas and increase the group's willingness to engage with you and with each other.

Here are a few tips on how to create a safe space for your audience that encourages everyone to feel comfortable enough to speak up and share their feelings, experiences, and ideas.

1. Start with a group agreement

Together as a group, create some guidelines on a flipchart that spell out the behavior you would like to see in the group. Ask a question of the group like, "What would make this workshop a safe and respectful place for everyone?"

Take a few minutes to write down points offered by the group. If they leave out something that you consider important, ask them if you can add it to the list. Make sure the group understands each point, and then go over each item asking for the group's explicit agreement. Display the flipchart in the front of the room so that everybody can see it throughout the meeting.

If your meeting is short, bring your own pre-written guidelines, ask for any additions or changes, and get group agreement.

By asking for the group's agreement, you have now put guidelines in place for everyone to follow. And if you run into difficulty with members of the group refusing to demonstrate the behavior that they've agreed to, you're now in a position to ask someone to leave, if necessary. You can find examples of group agreements on the Internet; this is definitely not something that needs to be reinvented.

2. Start with small group activities before moving on to large group activities

If members of the group don't feel completely comfortable participating right at the start, having them do activities in pairs or triads is a way for them to test the waters, articulate their thoughts, and develop a comfort level within the group. This is a good idea for any group, whether or not there will be difficult issues. discussed. In general, most groups need to warm up to the idea of participating before the majority is willing to jump in.

Provide a couple of activities where participants are given the opportunity to discuss an issue, solve a problem, or share something personal with one or two other people, and through the process, you'll build trust with them and amongst the group. They'll be much more inclined to speak up when you bring those issues or concepts to the larger group.

3. Don't try to cram too many activities into a short presentation

Activities where you know your audience might experience some discomfort will require time for personal and group processing. Trying to do too many activities or exercises where the group doesn't have the opportunity to process their thoughts and feelings will just lead to chaos and disconnection.

4. Help the group feel empowered to come up with their own solutions

Oftentimes, when we're dealing with a difficult issue or problem, participants feel overwhelmed, powerless, and sometimes even personally attacked. Try to maintain a solutions-focused approach instead of focusing on all the things that are wrong now or have been wrong in the past. Asking the group to brainstorm a vision and forward-looking solutions brings a more positive energy to the room and helps reduce feelings of guilt, frustration, and powerlessness.

5. Bring in a neutral party

By "neutral party," I'm not referring to a person. I'm referring to a box! When I worked with youth discussing difficult and uncomfortable issues like puberty and reproductive health, the anonymous question box was some participants' best friend.

Some of your attendees will never ask a question or make a comment. That's just the way it is. However, offering a fun option like the anonymous question box allows everyone in the room to say what they want to say.

The trick to the anonymous question box is to make sure that everybody writes something. Hand out small pieces of paper to everyone in the room and tell them that, for the questions and comments to remain truly anonymous, everybody needs to write something down. This way, it's not obvious that certain people are submitting questions. In the past, I've gotten comments from participants like, "I like your earrings," or "What's your favorite food?" It doesn't matter what people write, as long as everyone has an opportunity to share their thoughts or questions.

This is an excellent way to bring up issues that people may not feel comfortable expressing in the large group. Your job is to answer every question or respond to every comment as honestly as you can and to the best of your knowledge and ability.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where the audience seems uncomfortable with or upset by your topic, try some of these ideas and see if your audience is more receptive to your message and more willing to participate.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Is being emotional a positive in business?



Barbara Corcoran posted the following question on Twitter during last week's Shark Tank episode: "What do you think - is being emotional a positive in business?"

Of course, as a speaker, my immediate answer was "Yes!" Then I pulled up the responses, and they were overwhelmingly negative:

"No!"

"Negative."

"Never."

"Nope."

"Can work both ways. Most of the time, it's not a good thing."

"Was just saying 2 myself crying in business 2 me is such a turn off. No matter how moving."

"I think it's good to be emotionally vested but not a good idea to let your emotions run the show."

"No. emotions can make you look weak and you never want to look weak in business."

Huh...

To be fair, there were a few people who saw the positives of emotion in business:

"Emotional investment is a must, however, know your audience. Know when to pull back & when to show passion."

"I think the old saying is flipped...it should be, 'It's not business, it's just personal.'"

"ABSOLUTELY! Passion breeds hustle!"

"Yes! passion lights the fire to move your business to a whole new level."

"Yes - if you're in control of them."

The reason she asked this question is that one of the entrepreneurs pitching the sharks started to cry when he explained why he was trying to get his business funded. His girlfriend's parents don't approve of him and won't let her leave Japan to be with him. When he becomes "respectable," he hopes her parents will relent.

It was a moving scenario, and I imagine there was just a little bit of nervousness and anxiety underlying this outburst due to standing in front of the five sharks!

But here's what I interpreted from the answers to Barbara's questions: The "good" kind of emotion is called "passion." The "bad" kind of emotion involves crying and leads to being perceived as weak.

I found it an incredibly narrow and shallow view of what constitutes emotion.

Do you want to intrigue your prospect (or your audience)? Do you want them to be curious? Do you want them to feel frustrated with the way things are going and to buy your service or product so they can improve their circumstances? Do you want them to laugh and feel connected to you when you're on stage or when they see your funny commercial? Do you want them to feel superior to others who don't buy your product (there are companies who do)? Do you want to piss them off so much that they take action?

Do any of these emotions I've mentioned above involve crying or weakness? Or even passion?

I also understand that Barbara asked the question very specifically with the words, "being emotional," which has its own connotation, that is, using emotion inappropriately.

But I'm going to argue that using emotion, or "being emotional" (because after all, we're human, and humans are emotional creatures) is a critical tool in business and for speakers.

Emotions are complex, varied, universal (but individually triggered in different ways) and powerfully motivating.

Why would you limit your use of your own emotions to move your audience to take action?

Why would you limit your ability to affect your audience's emotions in a way that makes them feel connected, curious, enthusiastic, greedy, hungry, hopeful or one of a hundred other touchy-feely words that -- by the way -- prompt your audience to engage with you in a way that serves them and brings you more clients, more visibility, more income, or whatever else it is you are trying to achieve?

No, don't get up on stage and bawl your eyes out. And haranguing and yelling at your audience is only going to make them hate you.

But hey, even a heartfelt and spontaneous catch in the throat or slight tearing up is okay with most audiences. And if a show of emotion from a speaker or businessperson is truly not welcome, then you must be speaking to a roomful of cyborgs. That's an article for another day!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

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