4 things I learned this week

1. I often add new things to my business while forgetting to subtract, which makes my business cluttered, complicated, and messy. I'm grateful to my coach for setting me straight this week.

2. As a coach, I face clients who are stuck and struggling, and the truth is, I can't fix them. I can give all the tools I have, and be a support, but they have to fix their own problems. Good reminder.

3. I forget how amazing it is to feel inspired! I'm good at getting things done without major inspiration, but when I do get inspired by some great coaching and reflection, its like gold!

4. It's so scary at first to try new things, and especially to put yourself out there for people to see you trying new things! But it's so rewarding for the personal and professional growth. I highly recommend getting out of your comfort zone!

What did you learn this week?

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Learning is not a one-way street

I frequently hear colleagues and friends complain about all the money they’ve spent on coaching or training with disappointing results.

Literally never have I heard someone complain about all the work and effort they put into coaching or training, with disappointing results.

I’m going to flip our usual conversation on its head and instead of talking about your job as the one providing service, I’m going to talk about your job as the one receiving service. 

Whether you’re the training attendee or the coachee, you have responsibilities. 

Have you ever had those audience members who seem like they would rather be elsewhere? The audience members who don’t participate, who look annoyed, who spend all their time looking at their phone? Or worse, the audience member who’s constantly interrupting or trying to impress everyone with how much smarter they are than you?

Have you ever BEEN this audience member?

If we want “good” audiences (ask great questions, participate in exercises, express interest, stay awake), perhaps we should start with modeling good behavior ourselves as audience members. I often remind my audiences and my coaching clients that they get out of the relationship what they put into it. 

As speakers, we can’t expect to just pour knowledge into an audience of empty vessels. That’s not how it works. And as audience members, we can’t expect to sit back and have knowledge poured into us. 

Have you had a coaching client who wasn’t open to trying new things, who was unwilling to take risks and get outside of their comfort zone? Have you had a client unwilling to question their own current beliefs and practices, or unwilling to do work outside of the coaching sessions? 

I occasionally have a coaching client who expects me to hand him all the tools he needs on a silver platter. Instead of doing the work and pushing himself into new territory, he makes excuses about why he “can’t” do this thing or that thing. Or s/he comes to me with a last-minute event to prepare for and expects miracles.

Have you ever BEEN this coaching client?

Of course, coaching is a delicate process. It’s not easy to be comfortable with discomfort. I acknowledge those who come forward for coaching to improve their speaking skills and confidence, because it’s not an easy road.

But a coaching client or an audience member cannot just sit back and be a passive observer of the process.

The audience member or client cannot just “take” from the process and not “give.” This is a sure path to disappointment.

As an audience member, as a coaching client, you have a job to do as well! Spending the time, effort and energy (not just the money) to do your part contributes to a successful outcome for both the participant and the teacher.

It’s actually pretty easy to type your credit card number into an online order form or click that payment button in PayPal. That’s not the real work. And no one is going to unscrew your head and dump in a bunch of knowledge.

Pay attention to how you approach learning opportunities. Be honest with yourself.

It’s possible that these opportunities haven’t worked for you in the past because you were not fully committed or open to taking responsibility for the goals, focus, tasks, reflection, timelines, preparation, emotional exploration, and growth mindset necessary for a successful coaching or training process.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Big fish or little fish... what's right for you?

It's a new year, and with a new year comes lots of marketing hyperbole. Lots of "New year, new you!" and "Step into your greatness!" kinds of posts, articles and of course, paid programs.

Every January, I feel the pressure. Do you feel the pressure? To be bigger, bolder, more recognized, more successful (on someone else's terms...)?

I feel the pressure to have big events, make big money (used to be just six figures—now I'm seeing a lot more seven figure pressure), get big name clients. I feel the pressure to get media interviews, be on magazine covers and blow my competition out of the water.

I feel the pressure for more more more more more.

And I do want more. I do want to grow my business and I do want to make more money. And I understand that the more visibility and recognition I get for my work, the more people I can reach and the more people I can serve.

I get that.

But here's the thing: If all I focus on is "more," at the expense of what I really care about and what really moves and motivates me, then it's not worth it.

I don't want "more" for the sake of "more." What I want is to serve the people who need me most, who value my coaching and training the most, and who will implement the new skills they've learned with eagerness.

I work with a lot of different kinds of clients, individual coaching clients, group coaching clients and corporate training clients. I especially love working with nonprofits, because that's the sector where I spent 16 years and even co-founded my own organization.

I know that the work people do in the nonprofit sector comes straight from a place of wanting to improve their communities, straight from the heart. Sometimes those who work or volunteer for nonprofits have personal experience with the particular cause they support.

This was the case with a group I trained in September 2016, called Lived Experience Advocacy Development (LEAD), a speakers bureau comprising clients of Transitions-Mental Health Association who have mental health diagnoses and have been homeless. The LEAD team addresses public policy organizations to advocate for projects serving homeless community members who also have mental illness.

Most recently, they have addressed the City of Santa Maria Planning Commission, Santa Maria City Council, Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors, and the Santa Barbara County Mental Health Commission, among other groups, to speak out in support of a local housing project and on a statewide bill that made funds available to communities to provide supportive housing to people living with a severe mental illness and are either homeless or are at risk of homelessness.

There was so much camaraderie and conviction among the members of the group; this is not just an issue that affects someone "out there." Each of the members of LEAD is intimately acquainted with the experiences of those they now advocate for. It's a powerful feeling to listen to a speaker who is 100% fired up, committed to their message and committed to making a real impact.

One morning in December, I opened Facebook to find this post on my timeline:

This was shared by Girlie Ford, one of the members of LEAD.

I've also received notes from Cathie Ortiz, another LEAD member, who has kept me updated on their speaking engagements:

"We did it Lisa! Me n Patricia Faulkner belted it out. Youda been so proud. Man I love this feeling!!! WOOHOO!"

I know that many of my clients experience these feelings of elation with speaking success. And when they feel this way, I feel it too!

This is what makes me happy. This is what motivates me to go to work every day. This is why I do what I do.

Sometimes I get all starry-eyed watching big-name speakers on those big stages with hundreds or thousands in the audience, and I have to say, it looks pretty appealing, including a five-figure check for an hour of speaking.

But in the past 18 months or so, I've come to a realization that small workshops with committed participants are where I want to be. I have to acknowledge that this is where I shine, it's where I effect the most change, and it's what I love to do more than anything.

I love the small group coaching and training experience, watching my clients blossom, and seeing their confidence in their abilities just explode. I've been doing this for 20+ years, but it's finally sinking in that it's what I want to do, not just what I do.

The LEAD members are smart, articulate, funny, insightful, courageous, and are working really hard to nail this stuff down. Some of the group members already had speaking experience before our workshop, but one person had literally NEVER spoken in front of an audience before our training, and I felt so privileged to be part of that moment.

What I'm saying is that I'm a small fish in a big pond, and I like it here. I could be a bigger fish, and my business is still growing. But in my pond, there are still many people who need me and who value and embrace what they gain from working with me. The people in my pond are putting learning into action, taking huge leaps of faith, and reveling in their growth.

My pond is a pretty sweet place to be. How about your pond?

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

I want to see the speaker, not the coaching

I recently attended an event with a long lineup of speakers. I'm like a kid in a candy store at events with lots of speakers!

As a speaking coach, I always learn something from watching others present, and of course, I analyze everything about their approach to see what I can pass along to my community. There's a lesson in every presentation, and this particular event had one overarching message that I must share.

About 80% of the speakers looked like they had been over-coached. There's a reason for this: They all worked with the same coach, and it showed.

What do I mean by over-coached?

1. They appeared "stagey," like they were acting, rather than using natural movements.

2. Almost every presentation had the same structure and trajectory.

3. Their vocal inflections lacked authenticity and sounded over-rehearsed, not how people speak in "real life."

When I see over-coaching, I see a lack of trust in the speakers' abilities to bring forth their own unique power of expression. I see an over-reliance on technique and an under-reliance on the speaker's ability to connect in a human, genuine way.

Now, please don't interpret what I'm saying to mean that this was a "bad" coach. Every coach has her or his own style, own beliefs and practices, and unique training and experience.

However, speaking is not "one-size-fits-all," and there is no one method that works for every speaker. When I see a whole bunch of speakers in a row who've been coached by the same person, it's easy to spot the use of a cookie-cutter approach.

Coaching requires an personalized process, not a formulaic one. There is no "system" that I can apply to every one of my clients that will give individualized results. Coaching has to be tailored to each person's needs based on individual strengths, individual personality and style, and desired result.

Coaching should help the speaker find the best of what's already within him or her. Coaching is not about covering up the speaker with techniques and mannerisms, it's about revealing what's inside, using what's already there and building on it, allowing it to blossom. As Michelangelo said, "Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it."

The 20% of the speakers at this event who did not appear over-coached either already had a lot of experience as speakers and already knew how to own the stage, or had strong personalities that managed to override the "formula" that had been applied to them. These are the speakers who stood out to me for their truth, honesty, power, and compelling stories and delivery.

Coaching is a powerful tool, and every day we see athletes, executives, politicians and speakers who've made excellent use of excellent coaches. You see the improvement, the growth, the maturity, the confidence, the higher level of performance. You see someone striving for excellence while staying in alignment with who they really are at their core. You see someone blossoming, revealing what's already inside in new and exciting ways.

What you don't see is the coaching behind the growth. And that's the way it should be.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

It's a marathon, not a sprint

In May of this year, a long-time social media contact got in touch with me and scheduled a coaching consultation. She knew she needed coaching and was ready to roll. We spoke a couple of days later and put our first session on the calendar. She knew she was going to be busy, so we put our first session on the calendar a few weeks out.

Weeks passed and our first session approached. We got on the phone, but she wasn't feeling well, so we rescheduled.

The next week, she still wasn't feeling well, so we rescheduled.

Eventually, she discovered that what she thought was a simple illness was something more complicated that would require time and medications to heal. A couple more weeks went by.

FINALLY, we had a date on the calendar where she was feeling better and was ready to move forward.

Then *I* got sick.

And we rescheduled.

More than a month after our first scheduled session, we still haven't met. But guess what: Her speaking gig isn't until October. We've got plenty of time!

This is a bit of an extreme example of what can happen in trying to work out a coaching schedule between me and my clients, but the point is this:

When you don't give yourself enough time to go through the coaching process, to fit the sessions into your schedule, to do the homework, to practice, and to work around unexpected situations (my clients have had car accidents, births and deaths in the family, plumbing emergencies, illnesses, last-minute work trips and meetings, sick children and more that interfered with their careful planning), you are undermining your own possibilities of success.

If you're a less-experienced speaker, it's even more critical to give yourself plenty of time to fit your coaching and your implementation around your schedule. Think of your preparation as more of a marathon than a sprint. It's going to take some time to get to the finish line. Give yourself the time!

We're all busy, so when you call me for coaching and your presentation is in two weeks, how can you expect stellar results when you know you're going to be scrambling to get it together - and maybe dodging emergencies and unexpected monkey wrenches at the same time? Never mind my unexpected emergencies and monkey wrenches.

When you get the gig, that's when you call for the consultation. Presentation is still five months away? PERFECT. Take the time - you'll need it!

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Do you have a speaking engagement on your calendar? Don't wait till the last minute. Schedule your free consultation now!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

List-a-Palooza kicks off May 30!

Have you heard of List-a-Palooza?

It's a 90-day list-building challenge organized by PJ Van Hulle to see how rapidly you can grow your e-mail list.

I did this challenge last summer and I've signed up again, because it's full of practical tools, it's fun, and it's FREE!

With a profitable e-mail list you can:

* Attract more clients and sales

* Turn current clients into repeat clients

* Fill your seminars and programs

* Promote other peoples' programs that you believe in and earn $1,000s in affiliate commissions

During the 90-Day Challenge, you will:

* Receive weekly accountability check-ins for tracking your results so that you accelerate your path to more subscribers (and more sales!)

* Get access to TWO training calls each week with some of the world's top list-building experts to share their hottest strategies and tactics with you for massively growing your list.

* Be invited to participate in a weekly "Power Hour" in which we all get online together at the same time to implement ONE specific list-building tactic (this was quite fun and I met a ton of new people).

Click here to get FREE access.

Join me and let's build our lists together!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

How many gurus are you listening to?

Photo by Sam Segar

This is going to be TMI, but stick with me because I do have a point, and it will be relevant to public speaking.

I recently started a new diet protocol for dealing with IBS -- irritable bowel syndrome. I've had it for many years, it comes and goes, gets worse and gets better, and I've tried a lot of solutions, but none were quite right.

I recently learned about a protocol developed in Australia to reduce FODMAPs in the diet: FODMAPs stands for "fermentable oligo- di- and monosaccharides and polyols." Here's a brief and easy-to-understand description from R.D. Patsy Catsos' website:

"FODMAPS carbohydrates include certain natural sugars in foods such as milk, fruit, honey and high-fructose corn syrup. FODMAPS also include certain types of fiber in foods such as wheat, onions, garlic, and beans. (No, FODMAPS has nothing to do with gluten -- it's just a coincidence they are both in wheat).

All FODMAPS carbs have a few things in common:

* They are sometimes poorly absorbed in the small intestine. As the hours go by after a meal, these carbs move along into the large intestine.

* They are the favorite foods of the bacteria that live in the large intestine. When bacteria eat FODMAPS, a lot of gas is produced. (Sometimes people have "inappropriate" bacteria in their small intestines that can ferment carbohydrates, too.)

* FODMAPS can act like a sponge to draw and hold excess fluid in the large intestine."

I don't want to get into gross detail, but I think you get the picture. There are these carbs and sugars in many fruits, vegetables, dairy, grains and beans that wreak havoc in the gut. This made a lot of sense to me, because a lot of the foods mentioned in her book are foods I've had trouble with. I just never knew they fit into certain categories and that I could control my intake of these categories in a somewhat scientific manner.

I bought Patsy's book, because she gives a very explicit and thorough explanation of the process, and instructions about how to approach the testing and reintroduction of high FODMAP foods.

I found a Facebook group where people were sharing their experiences with this approach and joined in.

What else did I find? A lot of confusion. Whereas I was very happy using my one book by one dietitian, many of the people in the group were using a hodgepodge of resources: handouts from their doctor or dietitian (with no additional guidance, unfortunately -- this approach is not yet well-known in the US or UK, so a lot of doctors and dietitians are flying by the seat of their pants), a variety of websites and blogs, a couple different books from experienced dietitians, and a smartphone app that was just released by Monash University, the central research facility for this program.

The problem is that there are varying "rules" for things like which foods are allowed and in what quantities. Different dietitians give different advice based on their interpretation of the research and their own research with their patients. One says broccoli is not allowed at all. Another says broccoli is allowed in a 1/4 cup serving. And so on.

Add this together with the fact that each of us tolerates different amounts of different foods. So one person can easily tolerate a half cup of broccoli, while another person can't tolerate any at all.

Many of the group members were feeling overwhelmed and confused. Was I? No. Because I have one "guru" and I'm using her guidelines exclusively. I know exactly what I'm doing and adjusting my food intake according to my reactions.

What does this have to do with you? Let me ask you this: How many gurus are you following?

Mind you, I hate the word "guru" when used self-importantly by people in their Twitter and Facebook profiles. I'm attempting to be tongue-in-cheek here for lack of a better word to describe this kind of expert.

Do you subscribe to six different Internet marketing newsletters? Do you sign up for trainings and programs from five different social media experts? Do you read twenty public speaking blogs?

How's that working out for you?

I've been there. I still subscribe to more newsletters than I know what to do with and sign up for far too many free teleseminars that don't really teach me what I want to know. But I'm getting better.

I've started narrowing down my gurus. In 2012 I made a large investment in my business by signing up for group coaching with an online business expert I've been following for five years and whose paid programs I tried for the first time last year. I like her approach, I like her systems and I like her personality. We're a good fit. I finally decided to cut down on the "noise" and pick one guru to listen to.

This has made it so much easier when tempting teleseminars and programs come through my inbox. I'm still following one or two other gurus who offer sound business advice in a different format or focusing on different topics, but I'm no longer scattered, confused and paralyzed by indecision about which path I should take.

It's no different with public speaking experts and coaches. You will get different advice from every source you follow. We each have different approaches, different styles and personalities, and different philosophies.

Are you going to keep following twenty gurus or are you going to settle down and pick the one that you most resonate and identify with and who fits your approach to life and business?

I'll be honest: I hope you pick me. But whatever you do, just pick someone. Or even two. Or even three. But not twenty.

Pick one and then make a commitment. Sign up for their courses, buy their books, really dig into what they have to offer. You will learn so much more by exploring the offerings of one or two people. Once you get past two or three main sources, you're not learning, you're collecting. You're gathering scraps and tips, not deepening your knowledge and implementing solid content.

It's a new year. Time to pare down. Time to reduce "infobesity" (awesome word I heard yesterday on one of those free webinars). How will you narrow down your gurus? Please share in the comments!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

If you don't want the relationship, don't ask for the favor: Part 2

I decided to add a Part 2 to my post If you don't want the relationship, don't ask for the favor after a recent experience where I gave a group of people a compilation of resources that they requested, and not a single person responded, even to let me know they had received it.

In the previous article, I talked about getting to know a person and building a relationship with them before asking for favors. In this post, I want to talk about follow-up and why, if you're an entrepreneur or professional, it's critical to do it.

Here's a common scenario. You meet someone at a networking event, online, at a conference, or at a speaking engagement. In the course of your conversation, you discover that they have important resources that will help you in your business, and they are happy to offer them to you.

You give your contact information, and in a timely manner, the person replies with the helpful resources you asked for (there is an assumption that you receive the e-mail and it doesn't get lost in cyberspace). Now, you have three options:

1. As soon as you open the e-mail and see what's inside, you click "reply" and send a quick thank you note.

2. You read the e-mail, get distracted by either the resources or other things, and when you come back to it weeks later, you finally remember to send a note.

3. You read the e-mail and never respond.

Honestly, I don't know how you could ever make the choice to do #3 if you're a person in business, and here's why:

You have just shown this person that their time and effort mean nothing to you.

You have shown them that their help and assistance are unimportant to you.

And you've just demonstrated that, if they ever contact you again, you are unlikely to respond.

You have just shown them that you are not a person whose services they should engage.

Public speaking and business are both about building relationships, with your prospects, your clients and your audiences. Showing someone you don't care about them, especially when they've helped and supported you, will backfire and hurt you in the long run. You don't have to send an elaborate engraved thank you note, but a brief acknowledgement that the item has indeed been received is the minimum someone should expect from you, a professional.

Ignoring one e-mail is not going to derail your business, of course. But if this is how you treat everyone, your inconsiderate behavior will derail your business, or at least prevent it from flourishing.

Here are some solutions you might want to implement, if you want to be considered a responsible and responsive person worth doing business with:

1. When giving a colleague your contact information, use an e-mail address you actually check regularly.

Don't give out your old Yahoo or Hotmail address if you haven't looked at it in months. Don't give the address you use to sign up for newsletters and sweepstakes. Give a valid and active business (or personal, if that's what you're using) address, and then check it daily.

2. Check your spam folder regularly.

Occasionally, legitimate e-mail will go to your spam folder. Don't assume everything in that folder is junk. I can't tell you how many times I've followed up with people who "never got my e-mail." When I ask if they've checked their spam folder, they reply back, "Oh, it was in my spam." Check it!

3. Follow up yourself if you don't hear from the person who's supposed to contact you.

If I say I'm going to send you something, I will. I do. So if you don't hear from me in a timely manner, say, a couple of days, let me know. Because if I sent you something and you didn't receive it, then there might be an e-mail problem on my end or yours, and this would be good to know. I will resend you the information from a different e-mail address to see if you've received it (and I have both e-mail addresses listed on my website, so I can always be reached at one or the other).

If you want to compete in the business world, you have to be reachable and responsive. Period.

What other solutions do you have to help those people who never reply to your e-mails (besides writing them off as flakes and never doing business with them)? Please share in the comments!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Quick tips on using a microphone

Happy Friday! Here are some quick tips on using a microphone. Enjoy!

(You'll have to crank up the sound on both your computer and YouTube; it recorded at a very low volume.)




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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Will you meet me on the East Coast this September?

Here I come!

Have you been wanting to take advantage of my training or coaching services but find the distance to be a barrier? Well, now's your chance!

I'm attending a three-day workshop in Portsmouth, NH from September 12-14. Since I rarely get to the East Coast, I thought I would take the opportunity to schedule some speaking/training or coaching appointments while I'm there.

Which of these topics tickles your fancy?

Build Skills and Confidence: Learn to Love Public Speaking,

Sell Yourself, Not Your Stuff: Promoting Your Business Without Sounding Like a Commercial,

or Tweet me: Use Twitter to Make Connections That Build Your Business?

My most popular topics lately have been:

Networking Works: Build Relationships to Build Your Business,

Speak Up: 5 Daily Challenges to Build Your Confidence Muscles at Work, at Home and in Front of an Audience

and Take Your PowerPoint From Mess to Success.

Most can be delivered in 90-minute workshops or longer half-day trainings that include practice. Here's a link to my speaking page with more information.

Have a speaking engagement coming up this fall and you'd like some personal attention?

I'm also open to scheduling some individual in-person public speaking coaching sessions. Coaching packages can be started by phone or Skype before I leave California, and the in-person session(s) used to view delivery or a live presentation. I'm flexible!

If you or someone you know can benefit from this rare opportunity for my in-person presentation skills coaching or training on the East Coast in September, please get in touch, and feel free to pass this along to your contacts.

I'm looking forward to seeing you in person this fall!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

I'm in the Wall Street Journal today!

Check out my mention in the Wall Street Journal today in their Cranky Consumer column!

The journalist had consultations with a couple of public speaking coaches, and also attended a Toastmasters meeting, and wrote about her experiences looking for help with public speaking.

Unfortunately, the editing of the piece left out the fact that I do use Skype upon request and when warranted by the work I'm doing with a particular client. So, yes, I meet with clients in person, by phone and by Skype.

Also, I found it interesting that I was the only coach who offered a free consultation!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

How coaching gets me where I want to be

I had a meeting with my fitness trainer last week. We didn't work out; in fact, we had lunch. But I didn't need a workout on that particular day. I needed motivation and a new strategy.

My exercise routine has served many functions, including providing fodder for this blog. It helps me clear my head, it exposes me to beautiful Santa Barbara scenery, it helps me maintain a healthy weight and healthy mind, and it feels fantastic! I love working out.

But... I'm in an exercise and diet crisis, a rut of epic proportions. We moved into our new place almost three months ago, and since that time, my routine has been off. I've only been to the stadium three or four times. I do walk to the post office and Trader Joe's from time to time and it's a few miles round trip, up and down some hills. I know it's helping, but it's not enough. Add to that the fact that, since we moved, I've been on a crazy sugar binge, where I'm snacking like never before, and have gone back to old bad habits like eating at night in front of the TV.

There are probably all kinds of reasons for this lax behavior, but the fact remains: I need to DO something.

So I met with Nicole, who put me at ease and gave me the perspective I had been craving (along with the sugar). She pointed out that the long walks up and down hills were good, and that I should keep doing those twice a week. And that I should make Monday a mandatory exercise day, because it starts off the week on the right foot. And that, if I can get in one session at the stadium and the other two long walks, I'd be good.

As for my dietary challenges, she suggested I work on one thing at a time. Don't try to cut back on dairy, eliminate sugar, and stop eating after 7:00 all at once, or I would surely fail from all the pressure. Pick one.

I walked away from our meeting feeling positive, hopeful, and certain that I could do it. And Nicole helped me realize that I was already doing a lot of things right, but I couldn't see it because I was so down on myself for the things I was doing wrong.

I love having a coach! My fitness trainer has been critical to getting me on track, helping me arrange my lifestyle and make the changes I need to improve my health and fitness.

If you need to move forward, face your challenges and improve as a speaker, a coach can help you, too!

A coach gives outside perspective.

You might have fears and concerns about your abilities as a speaker, but a professional coach can cut through the forest and help you see the trees. You may think your voice quivers, or you use your hands too much, or you make funny faces. Your coach will give you the realistic, unbiased view of your presentation habits and style.

A coach gives guidance and support.

A coach helps you see what you're already doing right, find your strengths and then apply them to the problem. As a speaker, you're doing a lot of things right and you have a lot of strengths; a coach can help you appreciate and apply those strengths to your presentations.

A coach is a partner, not a taskmaster.

A coach works with you, your lifestyle, your personality, your strengths and your goals. A speaking coach should encourage (and sometimes prod) you to leave your comfort zone in order to achieve your goals, but should never make unrealistic demands or expect you to adopt behaviors that are not in sync with who you are as a person.

A coach promotes accountability.

Nicole will check in with me and see what my plan is and how it's coming along, which makes me just that much more likely to follow through on what I said I would do. A big part of my coaching process with clients is also accountability. Did they practice as much as we talked about? Did they do the voice exercises? Did they sign up to present a brown bag lunch talk? Without accountability, it's a lot harder to achieve one's goals.

A coach teaches new skills.

If I need to shake up my workout, Nicole has plenty of new moves for me, based on what I want to achieve and what fits my lifestyle and workout habits. My coaching clients also frequently need to learn new skills in order to shake up their presentations. Depending on their needs, I've got plenty of new moves for them.

A coach inspires and motivates.

A coach should be someone who makes you feel good about your progress, whether it's in baby steps or in huge leaps. A coach doesn't berate, belittle or treat you like a child. We're grownups, and we are ultimately responsible for our own learning and growth. How much you choose to do to move forward is up to you, but your coach should make you feel positive and excited about doing the necessary work.

This is why having a fitness coach is important to me, and why my clients hire me as their public speaking coach. What kinds of coaches are helping you stay motivated and accountable?

More motivational blog posts based on my workouts:

You thought you could never do it

Should you trust your inner quitter?

I do and I understand

I do and I understand, Part 2

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Speed up and stop enunciating...?

Image by juliaf

For the first time ever, I told a client to stop enunciating so much. And, for maybe the first time, I told a client to speed up instead of slow down.

It's a rare occurrence that a speaker is actually over-enunciating and talking too slowly, but it happens.

In this case, my client is shooting a video for his website. He's taking two minutes to grab the attention of site visitors, ending with a call to action for them to contact him for more information. In this two minutes, he needs to be snappy, friendly and intriguing, or site visitors won't stick around for the rest of what he has to offer. For that matter, they won't even finish watching the video if it doesn't engage them.

Overly precise enunciation and a slow speaking pace makes him look stiff, boring and robotic. He doesn't come across as conversational, and he doesn't come across as someone you'd want to get to know better. (Part of the problem is that he's speaking from a script, which is hard enough to do well without filming it on video.)

The exercise I recommended for our session that day was to let go, to lighten things up and loosen things up by speeding things up. I asked him to go over his presentation quickly, without stopping to correct mistakes or flubbed words. Leave the ums alone and stop thinking so much. Let the words flow as though he's in a conversation with a person and he's really excited to tell them about his business. He said, "I get it -- it's like I'm talking to someone in the same room, eating lunch together, having pasta." Exactly!

When he let himself speak freely, without worrying so much about perfection, he had so much more life in his voice, so much more energy and excitement. This is what his site visitors need to see, not some professorial lecture that feels like a downer.

Video can be hard to pull off for inexperienced speakers, because it's awkward to emote in front of a camera with no live audience, no feedback from facial expressions or body language to help you feel connected. Speaking to a camera is downright uncomfortable for a lot us, and smiling and showing emotion feels fake. One client suggested taping a picture of someone's face next to her webcam to give her more of a sense of speaking to a person, and if that works for her, great!

Speaking too properly (and this includes avoiding contractions and using the word "a" like the letter "A") can be just as distracting to an audience as speaking too sloppily. There's a balance you need to have between enunciation that is clear and a speaking style that's conversational and friendly. For a good example of this balance, listen to a radio DJ or TV news anchor. They speak clearly and enunciate well, but -- most of the time -- don't sound overly stilted. (I'm still trying to find a recording of the radio announcer I heard on KUSP radio a few months back who sounded like he was doing elocution exercises.)

Even when recording a video, keep in mind you are still speaking to an audience. You may not be able to see them, but they're there. Imagine these faces when you're speaking to the camera. Smile, and use your face and body just as you would if you were sitting at the same table as the person you're speaking to. Have a conversation and don't worry so much about perfect enunciation. Your message will be heard and felt.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Pick my brain

Because it is technically a page, not a post, you may not have seen the newest addition to my blog, my "Yes, you can pick my brain" page.

I created this page in response to the many requests I get to "pick my brain" about how to become a public speaking coach. Because it takes a lot of time to answer these questions, and because many of the questions are repeated over and over, I decided to make a page where I could update the questions and answers regularly in one place, and anyone can read them.

Feel free to send me your questions, and if they are universal and general enough to benefit lots of my readers, I will answer and add them to the page.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Are you ready for coaching? Ask yourself these questions...

You're finding yourself responsible for more and more presentations at work. Your company would like to see you representing them more often as an expert at conferences. You'd like to get out in your community more and promote your business.

Facing new demands on your public speaking skills and more visibility for your company, you've been thinking about pursuing public speaking coaching, but you're not sure if it's the right avenue for you.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if you're ready for coaching.

1. Am I willing to invest time and money into attending regular coaching sessions with full attention and no distractions?

2. Am I willing to take responsibility for my own learning and to do homework in between our sessions?

3. Am I willing to be straightforward about what is working and not working for me, and what are areas of most concern?

4. Am I willing to move beyond my comfort zone and try new things, implementing new practices and concepts we've discussed in our sessions?

5. Am I willing to actively change my thinking from negative to positive when it comes to my mental self-talk and attitude about the audience?

6. Am I open to hearing honest feedback?

7. Am I willing to find and make speaking opportunities for myself after we've completed coaching so that I can stay current with my new skills?

8. Am I willing to acknowledge the possibility of personal growth, confidence and pride in my abilities?

If you answered "yes" to all of these questions, you're ready for coaching! Let's get started today!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Why you won't see before and after videos of my clients

Download audio here.

I occasionally have a prospect who asks to see "before and after" videos of my clients. I don't offer this for several reasons, but mostly because each client has her or his own goals to achieve, and watching someone else's video will not tell you anything about their achievements.

Here are some of my clients' goals for coaching:

* I really just want to learn how to be comfortable in front of a crowd... I don't want to be defeated by insecurities or self-consciousness

* To become confident and comfortable in public speaking situations. It also wouldn't hurt to become a more effective communicator

* To learn skills. When I feel prepared my anxiety is diminished tremendously

* I want to move from good to great as a speaker

* To learn how to build an excitement within my audience for my subject

* To learn how to tell my story

* To stop feeling nervous and to be more natural, spontaneous and confident

* To be the best I can be

* To be comfortable, prepared, and give an excellent speech

* To make my presentation interesting, organize my presentation, get the point across in a positive way

* To enjoy public speaking, not dread it, and to have the audience enjoy the experience too

* Increase impact learning and motivating audience into action needed

* Being able to make a presentation where I can control my focus, attention and emotion

* Become a better public speaker

If your goal in getting coaching is to overcome nervousness, how can you prove you've succeeded to someone else who may not even notice your nervousness in the first place?

If your goal is to control your focus and attention, and another speaker's goal is to become a successful motivational speaker, your accomplishments might appear to be seriously lacking to the person with the loftier goal.

It's impossible to compare one speaker-in-training with another, because each person has different skills they are learning, different style and personality, and different goals to accomplish. Even the goal "to be a better speaker" is all relative.

A speaker who wants to be more spontaneous and confident may indeed feel more spontaneous and confident after a few sessions, and this will spur him to find and accept more opportunities to speak and to continue building his skills. But to put that client up for judgment in front of someone who doesn't know him, his achievements or his struggles makes no sense and is not productive.

Each of us is constantly learning, and we each have our own reasons for wanting to be better speakers. We each have our own areas of improvement we focus on.

I have a couple of speakers who want to be motivational speakers and tell their story to a lot of people. They're just starting out and their videos would mean very little to you. But they are making leaps and strides at every session, internal growth and mental readjusting that no one can see but them, in addition to outwardly visible improvement of skills.

I have other clients who want to do better at work; I have clients who want to build their businesses; I have clients who want to be better prepared, engage the audience more, reduce anxiety or get better at communicating. I even have a client who wants to be able to tell her story without crying.

Ultimately, we all want to give better presentations by the audience's standard, to wow the audience, keep them engaged and be memorable enough that they will take the desired action after our talk. But we won't make external, visible changes until we have made internal, invisible changes.

Each person has her own standards, her own path to follow, her own challenges to overcome, and her own way of knowing when the objective has been accomplished. Each person knows in her heart what success will feel like, and it may not look anything like what you think success looks like.

And that's perfectly all right!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

1,000 posts

I asked my Twitter friends what I should write about for my 1,000th blog post. I was feeling a lot of pressure and stress to write something profound or funny or brilliant.

The first, and only, answer I got was from my pal Kristiana Kocis, who said this:

That sounds like something I can sink my teeth into! It's going to take me a few days, but I'm putting together a post for you about what it takes to populate a blog with regular, useful and relevant content for your readers.

That, however, will not be my 1,000th blog post. Because this one is!

I started this blog on October 9, 2006, about a year after I started this coaching business. Which means that, not only am I celebrating 1,000+ posts this year, but it will also be my fifth anniversary as a public speaking coach. What a year!

Thank you, readers, for continuing to show up, for continuing to comment, for continuing to ask me great questions which, in turn, become blog posts. It pleases me to know I'm not just talking to myself, and that some people are actually finding this blog helpful in their public speaking endeavors.

If you want to post your own public speaking discussion topics to talk about, head over to my Facebook page where things are a little more interactive.

Thank you for being here, and stay tuned for some advice from me and some other bloggers who've successfully maintained a blog of over 1,000 posts!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Hitting a brick wall with resistant clients

I've seen lots of good material over the past couple of years about PowerPoint slides and handouts, PowerPoint slides AS handouts, and lots of other material on effective PowerPoint. Topics that I've written about before include:

PowerPoint effectiveness based on research

New research about PowerPoint titles

Are you too dependent on your co-presenter?

Dave Paradi's Annoying PowerPoint Survey

Is the font on your PowerPoint big enough?

Why you can't read slides and listen to a speaker at the same time

PowerPoint slides as handouts and Slideuments and Slides are not handouts

PowerPoint disaster

Getting the resistant on board

PowerPoint design in 2009 -- a group blogging project

My fellow presentation experts Olivia Mitchell, Laura Bergells, Dave Paradi, Garr Reynolds, Cliff Atkinson, Jan Schultink, Jon Thomas, Jennifer Kammeyer, Ellen Finkelstein and others have been putting out bucketloads of excellent content about how to make PowerPoint effective for audiences and why.

So please tell me: If all this rich, plentiful, easy-to-understand material is out there, how do we get our clients to adopt the better way? (And let me clarify: I'm talking about training clients, not PowerPoint design clients. My design clients totally get it!)

Here are the arguments I hear against solid, well-founded research:

"We have to brand every slide with our logo, in case a client or someone from another company uses one of our slides out of context."

"We have to brand every slide with our logo because the audience doesn't know our company very well."

"We have to do slides full of text and bullets because our clients don't take our presentations seriously without it."

"We have to do slides full of text and bullets because we have no time to do a report as well as slides." (To which I reply, "Waah waah waah. Nobody has time. That's not an excuse.")

"We have to give our slides as handouts, because the conference requires it."

"We have to make our slides fit this format because we give it to another department afterward who won't understand if we change it."

I have responses to all of these arguments, but I'm not heartless or rigid. I get where they're coming from. Change is scary. It's time-consuming to develop new skills, train others and spread a new message. Sometimes there's one brave soul who gets it and wants to take the next step. But for every one brave soul, there are 15 who put up brick walls.

I suggest baby steps. Try one new thing. Cut down ten bullets to five. Spread out five bullet points over five slides. Take out hard-to-read charts and give them as handouts instead. Try using sentences as headers instead of single words or phrases. Nothing too crazy, fluffy or complicated.

But the resistance persists and honestly, I'm getting fed up.

You, my awesome readers, must have some responses to these arguments that I haven't yet heard or tried. If all the research can be ignored...if all the benefits to the audience's engagement, comprehension and retention can be ignored...if the ease, professionalism and simplicity of effective slides can be ignored, what else is there?

Please share in the comments how you appeal to your most resistant clients to make the move to new models of PowerPoint.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

The audience can sense your guilt

Have you ever eaten a really garlicky salad or pasta dish, only to find yourself exuding garlic perfume for the next 24 hours?

I've written before about apologizing or qualifying at the beginning of a presentation, and how it does nothing to benefit you or the audience when there's nothing to apologize for.

But how about feeling apologetic and not saying anything? The audience can sense that, too!

A client recently told me that, because of her administrative position in the company, she is always the one delivering either bad news, or compliance- and HR-type issues like sexual harassment or open enrollment. She is certain that no one wants to come to her presentations, and she feels bad for always having to talk about such "boring" and "downer" topics.

Like that garlicky Caesar salad you ate that is now oozing from your pores, that hangdog attitude permeates your presentation through your body language and voice. "I'm sorry I'm so boring." "I feel bad about having to give you this information." How can you hold your head high and speak with conviction when you feel so guilty about what you're saying?

First, we talked about how to make these presentations not boring! There are a million ways to change up her talks to make them more engaging, interesting, and even fun for the employees. And she's in a position where she has the luxury of delivering that kind of presentation, where most of her colleagues are stuck in very rigid and inflexible roles. She was pretty excited as she started thinking of ideas for spicing things up.

The second thing we worked on was reframing: taking these guilty feelings and turning them around into positive ones. Instead of telling herself, "I feel bad that I have to talk about these issues," we talked about telling herself, "This is important information that they need in order to make important decisions for themselves and the company." She needs to own the stage and take pride in this part of her job.

Again: Don't apologize, even if it's in your mind! The audience will sense your discomfort, and you can't expect them to feel good about your message if you don't.

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!

Missed your audience's boat?

Sometimes it's hard to read the audience. I've written before about not taking it personally when someone is sitting stonefaced (maybe that's just his face) or playing on their Blackberry (this is the 2000s version of doodling).

But the truth is, sometimes we get a puzzling response from the audience, and it has nothing to do with our content or delivery.

I worked with a group of executives a while back who were finding themselves newly responsible for taking their company from a small regional outfit to a nationally recognized contender in their industry. The staff felt pressure to put forth a more professional image, do more public speaking, and represent the company on a larger scale.

I spent a half day coaching this group and, while the group was a little reserved, I thought it went well. That's when, in our last five minutes, one of the participants brought up something the CEO had mentioned about the group's presentation styles, and it threw me for a loop. Suddenly I feared that I had completely missed the boat with this group and had been leading them in the wrong direction all day.

So we had a brief discussion to clarify the issue, to see how the rest of the group perceived the question and my coaching, and we all agreed we were on the same page.

But that wasn't good enough for me. I was still concerned. I spoke briefly with the organizer of the meeting before I left, and she said she would look into it.

Over a week went by before we were able to speak again, and in that week, I worried and fretted. Had I given them what they wanted? Had I failed? Were they going to ask for their money back?!

In the end, I spoke with the organizer, and everything was fine. In fact, the feedback from the group was excellent, and it turns out that the CEO's comments related to a different group of employees who are far less experienced as presenters.

I should have trusted myself. I researched the group in advance and talked at length with the organizer, and believed I had found out everything I needed to know. But sometimes someone throws a curve ball, and suddenly all my careful planning and preparation is turned upside down -- in my head at least.

It's the worst feeling not to know if you've met your audience's expectations. Sometimes you're picking up on something that has nothing to do with you or your presentation. The best you can do is address it and try to talk it out to make sure you're reading the group correctly and meeting their needs sufficiently.

At some point, you have to let go of the worry and uncertainty about the situation. At some point, you have to trust you've done the right thing. But always follow up with the organizer and get feedback, and offer to remedy the situation if things did not go as planned.

It turns out I had nothing to worry about. But had I taken the wrong approach with this group, I would have wanted to know, and I would have wanted to fix it!

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On The Everything Page you'll find everything you need to build visibility, credibility and influence through engaging presentations that move your participants into action: freebies, low-cost products and courses, and 1:1 coaching!