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We've all heard the expression "Actions speak louder than words." Most of the time, we expect people's behavior to reveal their true self, even when their words speak otherwise. For example, imagine a thief who apologizes and says he feels bad about what he did, then steals again.
However, sometimes words speak louder than actions.
For example, there's a guy who loves to help people. He volunteers, he raises money, he constantly promotes his charities... and he never lets you forget it. His actions say he's generous and giving; his words say he's self-important and attention-seeking. Does that make him a bad person? Of course not. But it does make one think twice before getting involved with one of his projects.
• A boss who is generous to employees financially, but belittles their abilities
• A pastor who nurtures his congregation with love and acceptance, but judges and criticizes those outside of his church
• A speaker who gives great presentations and works well with organizers, but talks trash about his clients to others
The bottom line here is that, unless your actions and words are consistent, you come across as a hypocrite, as insincere, as a liar. If what you do and what you say are incongruous, you will not be able to gain the trust of your colleagues, your clients, or your audiences.
Are you aware of your incongruities? Do you think your actions will make up for the judging, arrogant, critical, rude, patronizing, self-centered, pretentious or snarky words you say?
Maybe for a while, but not forever.
Pay attention to both your words and your actions. Others do, and others will see right through your performance.