May 12, 2020

I have a secret...




There are so many great online programs out there, and I have several coaches whose programs I'm pretty much always going to join.

But most programs have a Facebook group component, and this is where I find myself holding back from signing up for a program, especially if I know that this program has 50 or 100 people in it. When I'm about to join a group with 50+ people all doing the same homework every day, I get super anxious.

Am I supposed to comment on and like all 50+ people's posts every single day in a 31-day challenge or an 8-week program? How am I going to have time to watch all 50+ introduction videos and other videos? How am I going to support others while also getting my own work done? 

I'm highly apprehensive about groups. In fact, I really don't like 90% of the groups I'm in.

I don't like being in groups that don't have active participants, obviously, and I feel sad and lonely if no one likes my posts, so I want to be active for the other people in the group. 

But I also don't have all day to spend in a group making sure other people get likes and comments. I have anxiety and guilt pretty much every time I'm in a program or challenge group.

This past weekend, I started leaving Facebook groups. I'm still in a LOT. Too many, in fact. 

The ones I'm paying for, I keep, and I do my best to balance my own needs with being supportive of others.

Ones I'm not paying for, especially ones I've never been active in, that seemed like a good idea at the time, those are gone.

Groups that are community-based, like local buy/sell/trade groups, I keep for their usefulness when and if I need them.

And then there's that "other" category: groups I joined to help or support a friend or colleague, but that I never really pay attention to. Arrrgh. What do I do about THESE groups?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on (large) groups. I'm in some smaller groups that are perfectly manageable. 

But when you're in a large group, do you feel compelled to support everyone else? 

Do you feel guilty if you comment on some posts and not others? 

Do you do "drive-by likes" where you just like every new post so people don't feel ignored?

Share your thoughts, guilt, anxiety, or love of groups!


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